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Now she walks through her sunken dream to the seat with the clearest view
And she's hooked to the silver screen,
but the film is a saddening bore for she's lived it ten times or more
She could spit in the eyes of fools as they ask her to focus on
Sailors fighting in the dance hall, oh man!
Look at those cavemen go, it's the freakiest show
Take a look at the Lawman beating up the wrong guy
Oh man! Wonder if he'll ever know he's in the best selling show
Is there life on Mars?


Saturday, July 21, 2007

Daddy's Little Girl, 2nd draft

Went from 1493 words to 1590. It's common for my second and third drafts to grow in word count as I add in all those things I see, hear, and feel about the story but forgot to actually write down. Of the 1590, I would say about 1000 or so original words stand (even less if I would include order). It still feels weird (and a little sparse) to have less than 2000. That's a goal, though, a goal to stay below.

I was able to remove all but one of the story breaks. The one remaining is between the setup and the life our main character leads afterward. That seemed a good place to have a break, the story telling style is a little different between the two sections.

New word teaser preview:

"An acronym stole Caitlin away from us before we had a chance to get used to her. SIDS, sudden infant death syndrome, all too sudden in our case. "

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