What a field day for the heat
A thousand people in the street
Singing songs and carrying signs
Mostly saying, "hooray for our side"

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

The Splits

First chapter is broken into two chapters now. Finished first rewrite. Chapter 1 was 2768 words. Now Chapter 1 is 1958 and Chapter 2 is 1462, for a total of 3420 words (+652). There's more description, slightly more background, and some more internal thought process being shown so you can see Gary isn't the superman he appeared as at first. Also I hope his mistakes show a little more (some people didn't see him making mistakes because he lived at the end).

Random sample from (now) Chapter 2:

The body in the ball of lightning appeared human in the way Raggedy-Ann appears human. The blackened shaped whipped like a flag in some unseen wind, arms a legs moving without the volition of their owner.

2 comments:

Todd Wheeler said...

Ooh, that's going to smart in the morning. Unless it's magical ball-lighting.

Steve Buchheit said...

You win the Bingo prize, Todd. It is a magical ball of lightning.