I watch the ripples change their size
But never leave the stream
Of warm impermanence
And so the days float through my eyes
But still the days seem the same
And these children that you spit on
As they try to change their worlds
Are immune to your consultations
They're quite aware of what they're goin' through

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Think I'll buy me a football team

Well, got one of the last condo rooms available for Viable Paradise just this morning. Also scored some sweet airline deals last night. And HOLY FRAK have I been spending money (airlines are up front, the Inn required 50% down, plus the tuition payment). So don't mind me if I FREAK OUT for a little bit realizing that I just spent the equivalent of a down payment on a car (well, I'm also paying for three people up front, two of which I have to cover fully). And a nice car, not a BMW, but also not a Yugo (do they still sell Yugos in the US?).

I'm going to collapse into a quivering, gelatin like mass soon. You may have seen me fret about other purchases (have I shown that side of my neurosis here?). Making the purchase of the Dyson vacuum cleaner was a three-day fret-fest (and about two-weeks after I found the deal). Having not grown up with money to burn, spending money is a difficult process for me. So, if you can imagine my quandary over the vacuum purchase, consider that in the past two days I've spent ten-times as much. With not a lot of chance to think it all through (I feel better when I double and triple check purchases and do "Due Diligence" on them). And I'm not done.

Breathe in, breathe out. I need to go to my happy place. I'm calm, the center of my being (holy frak, holy frak, holy frak, holy frak).

5 comments:

vince said...

Oh, yeah, I know that feeling. Happens every time I make a major purchase. My panic is due to the fact that I work for me. I agonize that I should have saved that money in case new jobs slow to a trickle.

Dr. Phil (Physics) said...

You may fret about it, but then the money floods out in droves. And yeah, workshops like VP and Clarion always end up costing more than you think they do. So now you can panic about How Much You Have To Enjoy The Experience Now. (evil grin)

Dr. Phil

PS- do not divide the total cost per hour or word count

Sean Craven said...

Man, this makes me feel lucky. I can't understand more than forty bucks at a time, so when I'm confronted by this kind of situation it all seems like Monopoly money to me.

Steve Buchheit said...

Vince, I have the same feeling, but it goes, "Hey, you got laid off once this year (and then hired into a different position), what makes you think it can't happen again."

Dr. Phil, way ahead of you there. :)

Sean, see, when I spend over a few dollars, it's a very conscious decision. I tend to make comparisons as to how much it really is (like, "how many hours is this at work?" or "I could buy a weeks worth of groceries for that" - tuition is about 7-8 days of work, each night at the Inn is almost a full day at work). Even spending $40 gets at least a double think from me. Heck, I looked at a 24" stiff bristle broom (I only had an 14" and each time I used it I kept thinking, "I need to get something larger") for about two months. And the damn thing was only $9.

Anonymous said...

Now, now, Steve, Scalzi owes us money for motivating him to NOT be distracted and posting on Whatever, so be sure to collect from him at VP.

Cassie