What a field day for the heat
A thousand people in the street
Singing songs and carrying signs
Mostly saying, "hooray for our side"

Friday, March 26, 2010

Morning annoyances

Paying some bills online and they have a "convenience fee" which is not defined until after you put in your payment information. Really, this is a "convenience" for the company that I'm doing your data entry. This is like the phone company charging a fee for "touch tone service" (which our local - explicative deleted - company does - I do have a rotary phone, I've been thinking about forcing them to support it for free).

Wait, an 8% fee. WTF? Are you all insane? I'm sorry, to have the bill processed automatically by software and you're charging a fee that is equal to your late charge. No cookie for you! And I must have "pop-ups enabled" to do this crap? And your pop-up window just need to expand to the full screen size?

Man, they are pushing all my buttons. So, no. We'll take the chance on the checks arriving soon and sending it in the normal way. We still have a few days before it's due. And no, I'm not giving you the routing numbers to my bank account.

And on the job-hunt side, there's a new position that looks like it pays well. It would be a bit of a drive (and I'm used to hour long commutes). There's some skills I haven't used in a long time, but I could do them. But the first half of the ad is about how wonderful the company is. And then they have these bullets:
  • Are you a hard-working, enthusiastic professional? Well, yes I am, thanks for asking. Get many people responding, "No, I'm a lazy shit."

  • Are you able to be engaging in your conversations while remaining focused on details? I'm scintillating at cocktail parties, but what does that have to do with actual work?

  • Do you enjoy having clearly defined goals and easily measurable results? Hmm, the red lights begin to flash.

  • Are you looking to join a motivated, growing team of professionals? Is that a klaxon I hear in the distance?

  • Have you ever wanted to be part of the explosive growth characterized by internet startups? DANGER, WARNING, WILL ROBINSON!

The rest of the job sounds okay, but really, is it just me or do those questions make you want to run and hide. I'm sure they're attempting to be "hip and happening", but instead it comes off as "we write SPAM for a living." Or at least they read too much of their SPAM.

And all this before noon. It's a full day already. So how's your Friday going so far?

4 comments:

Sheila said...

It's not just you! Hubby Steve and I read the bulleted items had the same reactions as you, except I was also mimicking the robot's arm movements when I read, "Danger, Will Robinson." You were flapping your arms, too, weren't you?

I get concerned when I read anything about the candidate needing to multitask in a fast-paced environment. I interpret this to mean, "We don't understand that multitasking is inefficient, and we'll drive you crazy by interrupting you and requiring you to try to handle 10 things at once, while simultaneously covering the incoming calls."

Steve Buchheit said...

Sheila, yes, I was flapping my arms just like Robby did.

At all the resume workshops I've gone to, they all say, "Don't say what your position did (the HR people will know what your job duties were), instead say how you made a difference in that position." Then how come every damn ad has the "must be able to work in a fast-paced environment, handle multiple deadlines, report to several people (called matrixing, and according to most placement people I've talked with, that's the situation you want to avoid because nobody wins in those), etc." Yeah, everybody has those. That's what business is like today. What does the job require, damnit?

Todd Wheeler said...

re: online bill paying, it always seemed to me that the utility/bank/entertainment-media-conglomerate ought to pay their clients for doing this.

Pay your bill online (not to mention automatically which gives them the cash to sit on for a few extra days) and we'll give you a credit towards your bill.

Our heating oil company has an early pay incentive, send the check in by this date and get 5% off the bill. But they are an old-school family run establishment that hasn't forgotten that customers actually deserve some service for the dollars they are forking over.

[end rant]

Steve Buchheit said...

Todd, I agree. Instead most of our bills are "if you miss the deadline your bill will be (increase)." We normally pay our bills early. It'd be nice to actually be reward for that.

As well as self check-out lines in the stores. Give me a discount, and I'll use them. No discount and I'll keep someone employed to handle my purchases. I don't mind bagging my own groceries (frankly, since they stopped actually training people to do that, I'd rather do it myself anyway).