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And no one sings me lullabyes
And no one makes me close my eyes
So I throw the windows wide
And call to you across the sky.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Hyperventilation Thursdays

Sometimes I feel like such a slacker, he said facing his comprehensive final, something worth 50% of his grade, this evening and is going to talk about not writing.

My friend, Mer, talks about this a little on why people give up. Now, I should say I'm not giving up. But I have to be honest, since I got this new job I haven't been burning up the time trying to write and edit. Heck. I have three rejections sitting in my inbox that I haven't dealt with yet. And they've been there for a month at least. And I have a novel that while isn't the next Dashiell Hammet breakaway book, isn't chopped hepatocyctes either. With another round of edits using the notes form the novel workshop two three months ago, I think it would be in good shape to go agent foraging with.

The self-doubt, the gremlins that gibber in the witch's midnight of my mind, have they worked out a new tool? Those sonsabitches. I'll bet they're behind this.

Or maybe it's as Stephen King says in "On Writing" that smart people are generally the more lazy and are more often prone to shipping oars and drifting when they can get away with it. That may have something to do with it. This job takes much more of a toll on me than I originally thought. So when I do have time, I really just want to relax. And it just hasn't been the writing that I've been ignoring. There's also the Village work I haven't really been paying attention to as much as I should. That part, however, actually does feel a little good. I am looking forward to the closing of my position in a year and a half.

Yes, I too know why the freed bird sings. And I know why the caged bird sings as well. I know the many reasons the caged bird sings.

So after tonight, there's a bunch of "living" stuff that needs to get done. Including scheduling other things for the retraining (which, just found out, a test I need isn't offered until the middle of next month when I thought there were two more test dates this month - margle). As well as cleaning, and petting the cats, and getting ready for fall, and yard work I've been ignoring, and all that other stuff. I need to get to rewriting the novel and getting some of these short stories out.

8 comments:

Steve Finnell said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Steve Buchheit said...

Hey Steve, thanks for the invite. Um, how do I know you? Because I'm having trouble placing the name. Or is this your version of drive bye link farming?

I'll give you until tomorrow to hear back from you, and if I don't, the comment goes in the hamper.

Dr. Phil (Physics) said...

"They" say you have to write everyday. That's a good plan, but "they" can't tell you to do a damned thing. All you HAVE to do everyday is breathe and eat. Exhale, poop and pee as needed.

Periodically the teaching work builds up and whole weeks go by when I don't really have any time to send things out or work on new words or even edit old ones. But I do think about my stories, even when I don't have time. And often I end up figuring out some fixes which have been driving me nuts, so the work goes faster when I get back to it.

Don't stress about it. You'll be fine.

Dr. Phil

Anonymous said...

Dr. Phil is right. Just like letting muscles rest and recuperate after a strenuous workout, I think the writing skills need the rest and recharge as well. Getting away from the keyboard isn't always a bad thing.

Besides, all this crazy hepatocytes need to be chopped.

Anonymous Cassie

Anonymous said...

Oh, and since it would take effort to scroll down and look at the next page of your blog entries, here's a cute little link for you re: the Michigan "Tea Party" candidates.

I stand by my previous comment. Win-win.

AC

Steve Buchheit said...

Dr. Phil, while I agree with the reasons for writing at the same time every day, and there are benefits, I too have been unable to actually do that for too long.

Thanks, Cassie. Yeah, those hepatocyctes won't chopped themselves. Unless they start into hepatocytolysis, and then that's just cirrhosis.

Also, the link doesn't work.

Anonymous said...

For want of a nail, or a quotation mark

New link had better work.

AC, livering it up

Steve Buchheit said...

Cassie, well, from the Politico article, it looks like the candidates are legit Tea Party. So, for the Tea Party to win 1) they need to say their politics art not appealing to Democrats, which then makes them conservatives only which goes against the mythos that you're outside party politics and open to everybody, and 2) requires the Tea Party to divide itself by disavowing their own members (which is happening) and forces them to endorse the Republican Candidate (welcome to being tied to the Republican Party) and 3) forces your assistance in the breakup of your own movement and 4) forces you to get more organization to prevent this action (which again, goes against the mythos of the movement) and finally 5) most people aren't paying attention yet, so this will skip by their notice.

The candidates look legit, the signatures are legit, I'm not sure what the lawsuits would be about. You'd have to argue that nobody is free to sign petitions of their choice and must remain with their party affiliation and can never change. Which, if you had that, would mean the end of the Tea Party as you couldn't organize. Or you'd have to argue against the mythos of your movement and freedom of thought.

Not sure how this works out to a win. Because your party/movement already is against the democrats (despite the rhetoric). I don't see how this supports your movement except in an internal manner. And then you're just preaching to the choir (and a divided choir at that point). And to "win" you have to argue to limit freedom and prove that your just conservatives and not open to other ideas outside hard core conservative/right-wing libertarian, which you say is antithetical to your movement.