John Boehner says the Republicans are ready to lead, that they're the party with the new ideas on how to make the economy work, get people back to work, and end big government. Well, since he helped break it, he should know how to put it back together.
Teacher: So, John, have your report on all the new ideas you have for making the government work better?
John Boehner: Um, my dog ate it on the way out this morning. I'll print you out a new copy next year. But I do know we shouldn't do this stimulus.
Teacher: Your dog? You don't have a dog. But, okay, I'll give you an extension.
the next year
Teacher: Okay, John, you're extension is up. Do you have that paper?
John Boehner: My printer was out of ink this morning. I do know we shouldn't do this Obamacare bill. And I've decided that we need more research on what the people really want.
Teacher: Having you been saying you're the party of people, shouldn't you already know? ::sigh:: All right. I'll give you another extension.
the next year
Teacher: Okay, John, it's been a year and a half. Do you finally get an ink cartridge?
John Boehner: Yes, and it turns out the people want tax cuts, ending social programs, reduce regulations that protect them, and have the Republicans back in power. You know, instead of this horrible stimulus that hasn't done a thing.
Teacher: Do you have the paper?
John Boehner: Um, no, because all this is so new we and haven't had time to figure out how to make it work this time.
Teacher: ::sighs:: You know with each extension I'm lowering your grade by a full letter? Okay. Well, those aren't really anything new are they? We've had a decade of those ideas and had wage stagnation and the worst GDP growth since the Great Depression. But I'll grant you one more extension. You know you now need to write an "A" paper to even get a passing grade, right?
the next year
Teacher: Okay, John, it's been two years now. Do you finally have that paper of new ideas ready?
John Boehner: I'll turn it in after the election. But the President should fire all his advisors because they're just mucking up our story telling. He should hire in all the bozos we had who couldn't organize a two car parade. Because government can't work for the people. I mean doesn't work.
Teacher: ::head desk::
Really, John? It's been two years and no real new ideas than the same tired rhetoric that got us into this mess. After all you tell us that these major bills that have been passed have no Republican ideas in them (even though they actually do). You're medical reform bill was all of two pages, a half page of which was "tax cuts." You're like the joke "Horse Doctor Manual."
Broken Leg: Tax Cuts
Sick: Tax Cuts
Split hoof: Tax Cuts
Broken Withers: Tax Cuts
Needs Bath: Tax Cuts
You've had two years to do your home work, John. And nothing to show for it.