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Though I saw it all around
Never thought I could be affected
Thought that we'd be the last to go
It is so strange the way things turn

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Why TV is bad for you

Watching "Legend Quest" on the Syfy channel, because I'm procrastinating (read learning how to repoint masonry for a home project). They're on a Grail Quest.

What pure, unmitigated crap. Seriously, I know sixth graders who could deconstruct your theory, dude. Let me see, so you think that the St. Clair family, priors of Roslyn Chapel, allowed the Pilgrims to sail to the new world with the Grail. At a time when ships coming over the N. Atlantic didn't have a good safety record (let alone the leaky ships the King of England gave the Pilgrims), do you really think the "keepers of the Grail" would take a chance of having it go to the bottom of the Atlantic? Or that colony settlements at the time had a 50/50 chance of survival.

Ha, ha, ha ha ha. Um, yeah. And no, that's not a chalice on top of the monument, that's an urn with a flame on top. Chalices don't have flames, but urns, in funerary iconography do.

We'll ignore the whole "Providence is where America was founded" bullshit you're pushing. Because, obviously, you have no grasp of history.

Serious fail. Aliens crashing at Roswell seems almost reasonable given the cuisinart blending of myth and conspiracy theory you're doing there.


Eric said...

Oh yeah, right--because you believe the lie, dude.

Everybody knows that the St. Clair family formed an alliance with the Atlanteans in the 14th Century and could depend on their assistance: one way or another, above the waves or beneath, the Grail was getting as far away from Mu's influence as possible. Once in the New World, the "Plan B" in the improbable event the Bavarian-funded colonies failed was (naturally and obviously) that it would be acceptable for the Grail to pass into the hands of the Thirteenth Tribe Of Israel for safekeeping for at least the short term. The Grail was never in danger, at least not until 1917.

Know your history, indeed!

I agree that it's unreasonable to say aliens crashed at Roswell: as we've recently discovered, those were really Soviet children who had been genetically reengineered by Josef Mengele and deliberately crashed by the Communists as part of an attempt to provoke an outbreak of riots and a test of American military/surveillance/propaganda operations.

I am depressed by the realization that in this abysmal day and age, I need to add a disclaimer to this comment--if not for you, Steve, possibly for any other readers happening by. No, I do not believe any of the horseshit that appears above this PPS; I'm also saddened to confess I didn't invent all of it, either, and that some of it has been published with the word "nonfiction" on the rights page.

Steve Buchheit said...

Eric, I knew there was a reason I liked you so much. I think that was a replay of the "Greatest Hits" of alt history. The only bingo square I didn't get to mark was the Freemasons / Knights Templar connection. Although bonus points for the Illuminati reference.

Eric said...

I also failed to work in an "Oswald was framed" or "the moon landing was a hoax". Also, nothing about fluoridation, mole men, or Satanic cults overrunning the United States and sacrificing hundreds of babies a day, nor a Skull & Bones reference (though that one may overlap with the Bavarian Illuminati and/or the Freemasons, depending on who you ask).

Tangentially, if you've never played Steve Jackson's Illuminati and you have the opportunity, it remains one of the best games ever. If you have played the game, you'll appreciate that one of the best games I was ever involved in had the Moral Minority using the Boy Sprouts to take over the Girlie Magazines for the sole purpose of destroying them for a win. (Actually, that might be the kind of scenario anyone can appreciate.)

Steve Buchheit said...

Damnit, how many times to I have to yell, "Bingo!"? Man, now I need to get new cards.