I think I've killed myself by learning too much about story. Some stories I like to write are just an interesting story, but there's very little conflict. But now I'm looking at the stories from the viewpoint of "who wants what/which desires conflict/how does this shape the story" and things are falling down. Sigh. Sometimes I think the desires of the characters aren't open enough and so the story fails because the reader doesn't understand the desires.
And I think that's part of why I'm stuck spinning my wheels in the outlines. You know, other than the ZOMG busy, busy, busy schedule. Another thing that keeps me in the bullpen warming up instead of pitching the game is the day thing. I literally feel blowout by the time I get home. And while I used to feel good about that, the "giving it my all" to the job, it's now more the feeling of being blowout like a flat tire. And now is the added flavor of strife between divisions of which I get to be a pawn in the game. That'll pretty much knock the wind out of my sails (not to mention cue the stress eating behaviors).
On top of all that I'm beginning to feel my subconscious doesn't want to the write the book my consciousness wants to write. It might be early writing jitters (would be better if I was actually, you know, writing), but when I think about other books I've started ideas for, they feel fresher and "more inviting." They feel "more right."
You can probably chalk this all up to, "Writer feeling the jitters, again. Writer complaining about how hard it is (find time/find words/get enthused) to write, again." But would it be an actual creative process if we didn't complain about it?