Today just seemed to have been one of those crystallization moments (you know, super saturated solution meets seed and bang, crystalline structures everywhere). Not in a good way.
First was the NASA Chief spouting his ignorance of Global Warming (now known as Global Climate Change). At least he can be excused as a political appointee in a administration more concerned with political correctness (that's a long essay on how PC is actually conservative, but here I'm talking about fealty to the Bush family) and religious affiliation than with competence (you did listen to the Monica Goodling testimony and all the scuttlebutt about our rebuilding corps that went to Iraq). I'll need to do another post about all of the twists and turns that took on NPR. There was also the Early Human program on Discovery (OMG, say, can we vet these things for cultural prejudice?). And the stupidity at work. But I don't want to discuss that.
Nope, today was also when Microsoft, the people who brought you the Blue Screen of Death, unveiled "Surface Computing" (Microsoft page, Internet News, just do a google for "Surface Computing", can't miss it). Really intelligent people being stupid all over the place. But, hey, that's Microsoft (IMHO).
So, the one thing they like to say (on NPR and TV) this would be great for is restaurants. Restaurants. This is high stupidity of the first order. This is why Windows is the piece of dead weight that's sucked down man-centuries of productivity into the null bucket, this is why modern programmers couldn't find a wet paper-bag to fight their way out of. Seriously. My bone fides? I was in Computer Science/Math as my first major, the one where I had an Honor's Program scholarship. I'm from that generation that still thinks it's good that your 150 line program I can reduce to 10 lines (5 of which are the sort subroutine) because that's a Good Thing(tm). And it's something still very relevant. HTML anybody?
So, why is this so dumb? Okay, so let's put aside the ergonomics of this device, let's also set aside the resolution, let's also set aside the lack of human contact (if I go to a luxury establishment, you know, one that could afford this, give me this instead of someone at the counter and you're going to get a very grumpy customer), let's also ignore the fact that it's not "play" for me to use in your store, it's work. I'm your customer, stop making me work for you for nothing (well, actually I'm paying for the privilege). Why is this dumb?
Because it shows a serious misunderstanding of their core push. One, $5000 for a table? No restaurant is going to pay that price. Two, when was the last time you had an excess of foot space at a table in a restaurant? Yeah, didn't think so. Think those owners will want to lose a table or ten to roll these out? Just on those two criteria, this gets a big "F." Reminds me of the algorithm experiment about writing a logic structure to put on and tie your shoes. Who forgot to put on their socks first? Everybody who works at Microsoft.
Okay, so, let's get past those. Let's say the big M is able to convert this all to a flat plasma or LCD monitor, mod in the infrared sensors, put in the Bluetooth, WiFi, and all that other supporting tech and get the price point below $1000 (good luck with that).
The first five-year old with a spoon spells the death of this machine (fork or knife? fuggetaboutit). If you can't sterilize the surface, you're doomed (no FDA food surface approval, you ain't getting anywhere near the restaurant). If the surface can't take 112 degree heat only three inches away from 60 degree heat without cracking, you're doomed (imagine the sizzling fajita platter next to a cold beer). Can it handle a wet cloth or how about a full glass of milk spilling? Crumbs? Oh, and will it make my cold-beer warm? (Bzzzzit!). Also, you want to replace waiters? How dumb is that? Maybe the programmers, who I'm guessing here only tip around 5-10% and think that's way too high, don't think their service is any good (might be another reason for that, me buckos). Your table better be able to bring me a refill before I'm out of the last drop in my glass.
Edited 06-01-07 12:50pm Anonymous posted about using a glass top on the table. I misunderstood and was a bit pissy. Now that I have caffiene in my system (oh, caffeine, is there anything you can't make better?) I understand what Anon was saying. Yes, that would help with FDA, also with some heat dispersal (but not much, next time you see such check out the condition of the surface beneath the glass). Also I think it might interfer with the touch screen mechanisms, fixable, but in a way that creates "interface sloppiness" which degrades the experience. It also doesn't help mask the heat from the projector below. Warm beers again. And while it protects from crumbs and spills, it doesn't fully protect it.
And you want to replace the wait staff? Um, maybe you all ought to re-examine just what a restaurant is all about. If you answered "the food," you have the second reason (in priorities) for restaurants. Do I need a "media rich experience" while ordering food. Nope. Do I need to speed up the experience? Nope. Do I need to have as the reason my food took an hour to prepare and arrived cold a computer failure? Nope.
Before this gets into restaurants I see fast food places installing self-checkout lanes (existing, proven tech, and in fast food, you want the food fast, not the restaurant experience and they're already wired for computer based order processing).
And do you really think I believe all this "wonder kiosk" crap? Nope. 'Cause I've been to company websites, so I know the "depth of information" that the company wants to make available. It's not worth it.
I'm just waiting to see how Apple did this project three times better and with more realistic goals (iPhone anybody, multi touch=the scrolling touchpads). Also, John Scully (former Apple CEO) was talking about this back in the 90's when he still was CEO of Apple.
6 comments:
No imagination.
A simple glass top takes care of the temperature worries, as it does now for restaurant tables.
How many restaurants have glass-top tables?
Granted, Ohio isn't the height of restaurant culture, but I can't remember a single one.
Also, still doesn't address the issue of the footspace, cost per unit, actual need or wants, and that five-year old with a spoon.
Neither does it address heat sink issues (ever sit near a projection device? I have, they pump out a lot of heat, which rises, warms the table top, which wamrs my beer.). Are you going to vent it against my legs?
Also, I go to a restuarant for the experience of relief and being waited on. If the food is good (which it should be) that enhances the experience. If I'm alone, I usually have a book. When I'm there with other people, I want the menu/ordering part out of the way as fast as possible.
And, again, if I go to The Four Seasons or the Omni hotel, places that could afford such kiosks, you hit me with this instead of the very helpful and couteous people that normally staff these places (the Omni, I'm sure, still remembers that I need an extention cord with many outlets when I stay with them) and I'm a very grumpy customer.
ATMs are fabulous (except when they charge a fee which is HFT) because they extend the time frame that I can bank. This device helps nothing, expands nothing worth while, adds no value to the experience.
At best, if it survives the spill tests and FDA food surface prep tests, I see it in bars replacing video games. Also, most bars are notorious for slow service and forcing customers to go up to the bar to order. But profit margins for bars are even lower than restaurants, which makes a $5000 piece of kit less likely.
I forgot to add that many restuarants already are wired for computer based order entry. Do you see that part? Nope. Even though it would be fairly easy (and add more "intelligence" to the wait staff at the table - i.e. "are we out of the grouper?" "How hot is this?") to have the wait staff carry wireless order entry devices (imagine being able to tag an order to a seat position so the "food deliverer" get s it right every time). As it is there is an inefficiency of having the wait staff take the order, go to the "hidden" entry comuter, and re-enter the data into the system. Think there might be a reason for that (I don't know of any restaurant owner/managers who like duplication and inefficiencies, and they're pretty good at spotting them)? Could be.
okay, now that I'm somewhat caffinated, I see what anonymous was saying about "glass top" as an added glass sheet. Yeah, I've seen them (helps with santization), it might interfere with the touch screen interface though (distance, opacity, and distortion).
One other bit of information. The projector that this relies on probably uses a projection system similar to most DLP projectors for sale today. They cost around $600 (+/- $200) and use bulbs that cost about $400 to replace. With a lifespan of 4000 or so hours, it'll get a tad expensive when they start burning out.
Wow. This sounds like a bunch of science fiction.
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