Is it only me or do you all have an automatic response when politicians say "We should stop sending all our oil money to people who hate us." My automatic response? "Damn those Canadians!" Our leaders are fiddling with their naughty bits in public while Rome burns. Don't let them get away with it.
Have I been writing too much about this issue? Probably so, but it really pisses me off (I commute 38.6 miles one way per day). Our politicians are saying the equivalent of "The Internet is... a series of tubes," only nobody is laughing at them.
So you've heard about how wonderful it would be if we opened off-shore drilling, right. You might remember my earlier post about it. If we could get all 18 Billion Barrels (a statistical mean, more than likely much less) of oil right now, and it was the type of oil we could process, it would only stop imports for 5 years. That's if we continuing our other domestic production. There is also no guarantee than the oil would be sold here to the US (oil is sold on a world market, no matter where it's pumped).
But now we have estimates on how much oil we realistically could be producing in 15 years (any talk about seeing oil from these leases before 10 years are simply lies, we don't have the equipment, we don't have the infrastructure, and we don't have enough engineers to do the job - see the industry's excuses on why they haven't drilled on the land they currently own leases to). Most people are talking 200,000 barrels a day (the far end is 800,000 barrels a day). We import 2.36 Million barrels of oil per day. Until recently (the time that the DoE figures referenced in the link above) we were filling the strategic oil reserve to the tune of 79,000 barrels per day (that's now at an end).
So let's say we could get 200,000 (800,000) barrels of oil per day. That's only slightly more than what we import from Equador, #12 oil importer (Iraq, #6), and is 11% (44%) of what we import from Canada (our #1 importer). It's the output of roughly 2000 (8000) US wells, but only 2 (8) middle east wells. Saudi Arabia is already over producing (they used to be #4 or 5, now they're #2) and are beyond their comfort zone. They would love to cut back and would only have to cut their production by 12% (50%) on just the oil they sell to us and we would be equal.
The best thing we can do to drop the price of oil is conserve. Most countries are still expanding their need for oil (China and India continue at the pace they have for the past three years). However here in the US gasoline and diesel consumption (from retail sales) has dropped by 2-3% in the past few weeks. The price of oil has also dropped to below $120 a barrel. Properly inflating tires could cut another 3-4% on consumption. These are things that have a real impact right now.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
I can (cough) see clearly (wheeze) now (cough) the rain (hack) is (cough) gone (wheeze)
Well, the three month plan of China's overgrupenfuerers seems to have gone bust. After a good day on Sunday, the smog is back over Beijing. This Olympics will be remembered for more than the medals. Already there is political strife (some VIPs have been denied entry visas), athlete scandals (just how old are China's gymnasts), and all the fun surrounding the torches progress to the eternal flame. Just wait until the world sees athletes in face masks, the reports how some athletes are not competing in their signature events because they don't want the health problems, and the ever famous "location" shots that appear to show the venues surrounded in fog, perpetually.
I have major issues with the EPA. Not in their authority or their purview, but in their implementation of the rules (which tends toward the ignorant authoritarian side). However, I do remember "haze clouds" over Philly and Cleveland. I remember the smell of cities. How many young people know what I'm talking about when I say you could see the temperature incline in the air because that was the deepest brown line in the sky? I remember that very well. It's still there, but it's much harder to see. When I was young you couldn't miss it. This is why I support the general mission of the EPA. As you watch the Olympics keep in mind that what you're seeing isn't to far away from what our skies looked like in the 70s. Keep it in mind as people talk about relaxing air quality standards.
I do not want to go back to that.
Now if you'll excuse me I have to go get Copland's "Fanfare for the Common Man" out of my head. That thing is an earworm we're all going to be humming.
I have major issues with the EPA. Not in their authority or their purview, but in their implementation of the rules (which tends toward the ignorant authoritarian side). However, I do remember "haze clouds" over Philly and Cleveland. I remember the smell of cities. How many young people know what I'm talking about when I say you could see the temperature incline in the air because that was the deepest brown line in the sky? I remember that very well. It's still there, but it's much harder to see. When I was young you couldn't miss it. This is why I support the general mission of the EPA. As you watch the Olympics keep in mind that what you're seeing isn't to far away from what our skies looked like in the 70s. Keep it in mind as people talk about relaxing air quality standards.
I do not want to go back to that.
Now if you'll excuse me I have to go get Copland's "Fanfare for the Common Man" out of my head. That thing is an earworm we're all going to be humming.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Crazy Two Weeks
What a crazy two weeks it's been. Up and down, left and right. The day thing has long tracks of not much to do (hey, I've been doing well with the blogroll), followed by "we need these before you go" requests. Good thing is that this means overtime, but not that much, four to six hours a week. Council has been up and down, and I've been dragging my feet on some emails and reports I need to write. Then there was Confluence, fun but took a whole weekend. Family obligations. And a major rewrite of a story (hopefully I can tell you all about it soon). Too many late nights and early mornings.
The next few weeks promise to be just as crazy. And I've just realized how much of the summer is done and gone.
So, you surface for a moment, breathe out as you come up, fill your lungs once cleared of the water and plunge back in.
Hope your all lives are going a bit more smoothly.
The next few weeks promise to be just as crazy. And I've just realized how much of the summer is done and gone.
So, you surface for a moment, breathe out as you come up, fill your lungs once cleared of the water and plunge back in.
Hope your all lives are going a bit more smoothly.
McCain to Nevada, yeah, I lied
John McCain spent some time in Nevada and assured the people there that Yucca Mountain wouldn't need to be opened (a softer report here).
You see, John McCain is also advocating more nuclear power. More nuclear plants means not only more problems with finding Uranium, more mining Uranium, more processing, more spent fuel and by products, it means something else. See those photos of the fuel rods suspended in liquid from the DoE link (first one above). What do you think happens to that liquid? Yeah, it's a real problem.
When I was a young graphic designer I worked on the environmental reports (DoE and EPA mandated) for the Fernald Nuclear Site for the years 1989 and 1990 (published 1990 and 1991). They say it's cleaned up now. Um, yeah. Don't believe it. I tried to find the reports but my google-fu has failed me. See, Fernald, Ohio is also big dairy land. In 1989 and 1990 there were whole months (read that as plural each year) that milk both downwind and upwind could not be sold because it was too radioactive. Fernald hadn't had a working reactor for over 15 years at that time. My guess is that the dairy farmers in the area still have to dump milk every year.
You don't want to know the stories I heard from the engineers there. Not all of the fuel could be accounted for, let's just leave it at that. There's a creek that flows into the Ohio River (from the Miami if memory serves) that flows right past the plant. You do not want to fish there. Trace materials that can be tacked back to Fernald have found their way to the Ohio.
The biggest problem at Fernald, and at all nuclear plants, is the storage of the reactor coolant. See, not only is it highly toxic, it is "mildly" radioactive as well. And there are holding tanks, large holding tanks, full of it all over the US. It will also be stored at Yucca, because most of the tanks were not constructed to for long term storage. In fact, they're way beyond their expected useful life. So, yes, waste for nuclear power plants is certainly less that from coal fire plants. But it's much more directly deadly.
You can make the reactor core safer than what we use now (like a pebble-bed design), but you can't get away from the hot water waste (from the cooling towers), nor the actual radioactive waste (both high and low-level). And you need to store that waste, somewhere. Shipping it internationally isn't going to work (heck, there are actually laws against it). Yucca Mountain here we come. And there's going to be a whole lot more coming your way if John McCain can be believed.
And don't get me started on "Clean" Coal (which is a game of "hide the carbon-dioxide, sulfur, and mercury").
You see, John McCain is also advocating more nuclear power. More nuclear plants means not only more problems with finding Uranium, more mining Uranium, more processing, more spent fuel and by products, it means something else. See those photos of the fuel rods suspended in liquid from the DoE link (first one above). What do you think happens to that liquid? Yeah, it's a real problem.
When I was a young graphic designer I worked on the environmental reports (DoE and EPA mandated) for the Fernald Nuclear Site for the years 1989 and 1990 (published 1990 and 1991). They say it's cleaned up now. Um, yeah. Don't believe it. I tried to find the reports but my google-fu has failed me. See, Fernald, Ohio is also big dairy land. In 1989 and 1990 there were whole months (read that as plural each year) that milk both downwind and upwind could not be sold because it was too radioactive. Fernald hadn't had a working reactor for over 15 years at that time. My guess is that the dairy farmers in the area still have to dump milk every year.
You don't want to know the stories I heard from the engineers there. Not all of the fuel could be accounted for, let's just leave it at that. There's a creek that flows into the Ohio River (from the Miami if memory serves) that flows right past the plant. You do not want to fish there. Trace materials that can be tacked back to Fernald have found their way to the Ohio.
The biggest problem at Fernald, and at all nuclear plants, is the storage of the reactor coolant. See, not only is it highly toxic, it is "mildly" radioactive as well. And there are holding tanks, large holding tanks, full of it all over the US. It will also be stored at Yucca, because most of the tanks were not constructed to for long term storage. In fact, they're way beyond their expected useful life. So, yes, waste for nuclear power plants is certainly less that from coal fire plants. But it's much more directly deadly.
You can make the reactor core safer than what we use now (like a pebble-bed design), but you can't get away from the hot water waste (from the cooling towers), nor the actual radioactive waste (both high and low-level). And you need to store that waste, somewhere. Shipping it internationally isn't going to work (heck, there are actually laws against it). Yucca Mountain here we come. And there's going to be a whole lot more coming your way if John McCain can be believed.
And don't get me started on "Clean" Coal (which is a game of "hide the carbon-dioxide, sulfur, and mercury").
I'm sure the DSM has something to say about this
Two weeks ago Josh Palmatier had a blog entry asking why people write (with a follow up). For me it's very simple.
(said in Bart Simpson voice) Can't sleep, voices will eat me.
There are voices in my head. Sometimes it's my voice, or the subconscious with a wake-up call, sometimes it's the Muse blowing across the antenna wires in my brain, occasionally it's that trickster up to his games, and then there are the very rare "others." They feel like the Muse, but they sound different. It was because of one of those that I started writing.
Most writers hear voices (and the ones who say they don't are lying, that's my guess). Most rationalize them (and I could probably do the same to all the above), safely label them and put them on the shelf. And in that sterile field of a mind, with the ground thoroughly salted, they begin to write.
Bleh. Not for me. Give me the voices, give me my Muse, give me the cacophony. I want weeds to grow in my mind, I want butterflies and milk weed spores, mushrooms and wild grasses. I don't want inorganic fertilizer, I want a rich humus to grow my ideas. I write because it is what I do, and I should have fun. Follow your bliss Joseph Campbell said. That's what the myths told us. Do what you love and the money will follow.
And I'm not the only one. (via Matt Staggs) Ken Scholes talks about the voices and how to write a short story.
(said in Bart Simpson voice) Can't sleep, voices will eat me.
There are voices in my head. Sometimes it's my voice, or the subconscious with a wake-up call, sometimes it's the Muse blowing across the antenna wires in my brain, occasionally it's that trickster up to his games, and then there are the very rare "others." They feel like the Muse, but they sound different. It was because of one of those that I started writing.
Most writers hear voices (and the ones who say they don't are lying, that's my guess). Most rationalize them (and I could probably do the same to all the above), safely label them and put them on the shelf. And in that sterile field of a mind, with the ground thoroughly salted, they begin to write.
Bleh. Not for me. Give me the voices, give me my Muse, give me the cacophony. I want weeds to grow in my mind, I want butterflies and milk weed spores, mushrooms and wild grasses. I don't want inorganic fertilizer, I want a rich humus to grow my ideas. I write because it is what I do, and I should have fun. Follow your bliss Joseph Campbell said. That's what the myths told us. Do what you love and the money will follow.
And I'm not the only one. (via Matt Staggs) Ken Scholes talks about the voices and how to write a short story.
Monday, August 4, 2008
His delete key went snicker-snack! He left it dead, and with its head, he went galumphing back
"War Stories" is now 4985 words long. Tonight's edits were a hunt to "eliminate needless words." I did rewrite about 250 words or so. I bobbled around the 5000 mark for a long time. Bobby is a more haunted figure now. Most of his friends at the legion hall might not believe his story, but one knows he was telling the truth.
The email is in the cue as I type this. I screwed up and tried to send it before I was connected. I'm really tired. Ah, now it cleared.
I'm glad I slept on it. I found some horrendous grammar and a few dastardly typos. I think I caught them all, although the editor may disagree.
I know the story still holds up for me, but then I knew what it was all along. Now I'm worried I cut to far. Oh well. I guess we'll see.
The email is in the cue as I type this. I screwed up and tried to send it before I was connected. I'm really tired. Ah, now it cleared.
I'm glad I slept on it. I found some horrendous grammar and a few dastardly typos. I think I caught them all, although the editor may disagree.
I know the story still holds up for me, but then I knew what it was all along. Now I'm worried I cut to far. Oh well. I guess we'll see.
Lessons learned from this rerwrite
I am a much better writer now than I was three-years ago. I wasn't bad then, but I know more about how to construct a short story.
It distresses me that it was fairly easy to cut 15% plus of the story (okay, I knew I left some darlings in there, but the cuts yesterday were after I had eliminated most of them). I guess I bloviate a wee bit too much (like I did just then).
I still have problems typing "from" (usually comes out "form"). Also, I now cut out the word "back" as I type.
Novels seem to be my natural form of writing. Short story work is very intensive still.
I do well under the gun and with having defined parameters. Not so much with my self imposed deadlines, but external ones get me going. Also having a structure to work in helps me focus. When I write short stories, I tell myself the story. Then I try and find a market that it'll fit. Some markets I'd like to try have word count limits that I go beyond. While my newer short stories are smaller, I think having those boundaries helps.
For these edits I've rewritten many sentences to eliminate bloviation. I've done a little of that before, but this is the first that I've been so ruthless and thorough. Some sentences I've just loved met the axe because I could say the same thing with three fewer words (although I did keep some).
So I still need to cut at least another 116 words. Hopefully I can find most of that with a reread, but I'm getting close to eliminating characters which might lessen the concreteness of the story. Or I may have to cut some actions or descriptions, which I think I'm at the edge, or slightly on the too little side already.
This really is a rewrite of the story. While I've cut some places wholesale, some of what was cut found its way back in, but in a changed form. At one point I had to open up a previous version to regain some text I had cut. There were times when my word count was above where I had started for that session (usually met with calm and professionalism instead of a "OMG, I'm gaining, I'm not supposed to be gaining, I'm going to screw this up," because, you know, I'd never have that thought). Much of what was there before has gone through the washer. But I just want to say here, it is so much easier to rewrite and edit a story than it is to pull it whole cloth out of the ether.
Oh, and I really like this story. That should go without saying since I'm the author, but I like this one. A character that had been nameless has a name and became more of a character. I think he's the most interesting one of the ensemble now, but this is not his story, it's Bobby's. Bobby is the one that changes and has things affect him. I think Casey (that's the character's name) will show up again. He's in a position to do that. I don't know his whole game, but he has some of the best dialog. Very funny guy that Casey is.
It distresses me that it was fairly easy to cut 15% plus of the story (okay, I knew I left some darlings in there, but the cuts yesterday were after I had eliminated most of them). I guess I bloviate a wee bit too much (like I did just then).
I still have problems typing "from" (usually comes out "form"). Also, I now cut out the word "back" as I type.
Novels seem to be my natural form of writing. Short story work is very intensive still.
I do well under the gun and with having defined parameters. Not so much with my self imposed deadlines, but external ones get me going. Also having a structure to work in helps me focus. When I write short stories, I tell myself the story. Then I try and find a market that it'll fit. Some markets I'd like to try have word count limits that I go beyond. While my newer short stories are smaller, I think having those boundaries helps.
For these edits I've rewritten many sentences to eliminate bloviation. I've done a little of that before, but this is the first that I've been so ruthless and thorough. Some sentences I've just loved met the axe because I could say the same thing with three fewer words (although I did keep some).
So I still need to cut at least another 116 words. Hopefully I can find most of that with a reread, but I'm getting close to eliminating characters which might lessen the concreteness of the story. Or I may have to cut some actions or descriptions, which I think I'm at the edge, or slightly on the too little side already.
This really is a rewrite of the story. While I've cut some places wholesale, some of what was cut found its way back in, but in a changed form. At one point I had to open up a previous version to regain some text I had cut. There were times when my word count was above where I had started for that session (usually met with calm and professionalism instead of a "OMG, I'm gaining, I'm not supposed to be gaining, I'm going to screw this up," because, you know, I'd never have that thought). Much of what was there before has gone through the washer. But I just want to say here, it is so much easier to rewrite and edit a story than it is to pull it whole cloth out of the ether.
Oh, and I really like this story. That should go without saying since I'm the author, but I like this one. A character that had been nameless has a name and became more of a character. I think he's the most interesting one of the ensemble now, but this is not his story, it's Bobby's. Bobby is the one that changes and has things affect him. I think Casey (that's the character's name) will show up again. He's in a position to do that. I don't know his whole game, but he has some of the best dialog. Very funny guy that Casey is.
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Misc Other Things from the Past Week
Received two rejections, both form letters. So I'll need to find some markets for a story and a poem (might rewrite poem first).
Moved to final proof for client brochure. Hopefully will hear good things on Monday.
Misunderstood some budget information for the Village and panicked a little. I'm better now.
Feeling a little better about things in general. Might be the drug working, finally. Or it could be the general accomplishments of the past week.
Also, finally put the iMac on my desk at work (yippie). It's a big one. And now that my video display is in focus, I realize I need new glasses. One of the industrial hazards of graphic design is failing eye sight (that and bad posture which leads to sore backs). Hopefully I'll be able to get new lenses this fall.
Edit 08-04-08 8:23pm Forgot to mention I won a book from Ken McConnell. Yeah me! Thanks Ken.
Hope your week was just as productive.
If you want a good giggle, check out the new Old Spice commercial. I haven't heard it yet (normally mute the TV during commercials), but I've seen it a few times. Starts off with a guy in the shower using their new wash product, and the guy turns out to be a centaur. Beautiful chick in robe comes in at the end. Yes, I know what they're saying here, it's very obvious (can't we be a little teasing anymore, huh guys?). Anyway, what makes it hilarious is that the horse body they put his torso on is obviously a mare, not a stallion. So just like a Ken doll, this guy has no dangly parts. Makes the whole commercial a laugh riot.
Moved to final proof for client brochure. Hopefully will hear good things on Monday.
Misunderstood some budget information for the Village and panicked a little. I'm better now.
Feeling a little better about things in general. Might be the drug working, finally. Or it could be the general accomplishments of the past week.
Also, finally put the iMac on my desk at work (yippie). It's a big one. And now that my video display is in focus, I realize I need new glasses. One of the industrial hazards of graphic design is failing eye sight (that and bad posture which leads to sore backs). Hopefully I'll be able to get new lenses this fall.
Edit 08-04-08 8:23pm Forgot to mention I won a book from Ken McConnell. Yeah me! Thanks Ken.
Hope your week was just as productive.
If you want a good giggle, check out the new Old Spice commercial. I haven't heard it yet (normally mute the TV during commercials), but I've seen it a few times. Starts off with a guy in the shower using their new wash product, and the guy turns out to be a centaur. Beautiful chick in robe comes in at the end. Yes, I know what they're saying here, it's very obvious (can't we be a little teasing anymore, huh guys?). Anyway, what makes it hilarious is that the horse body they put his torso on is obviously a mare, not a stallion. So just like a Ken doll, this guy has no dangly parts. Makes the whole commercial a laugh riot.
Diving Back In
After the family obligations of yesterday, I'm back into rewrites. Reread what I had fixed before, cleaned up some confusing bits, and cut some more. I'm back to where I left off before, but the new stats are 3303 words in, 5664 total (cut another 21 words). Realistic goal is to get to the end by tonight. Hopeful goal is to have another polish round of edits tonight.
Here we go.
Edit 7:30pm At the end. 5425 words. 6847 to start with, that means 1423 words cut or roughly 20%. Not bad. Still need to find 425 words to lose. Am going to have dinner and come back at it.
Edit 10:44pm Down to 5116 words. Close enough I think. Plus I got to use the magic words "eldritch," "rugose," "noisome," "squamous," "ichor," and "cyclopean." Behold my mighty Lovecraft-fu. Or something like that.
Time for sleep. My rugose grey-cells are noisomely squamous as I traverse my cyclopean house to deposit ichor somewhere (don't worry, I didn't write the story like that). I want to read through it again, maybe in hard copy, to make sure I didn't miss something (or to find more things I could cut) and then submit tomorrow night.
Here we go.
Edit 7:30pm At the end. 5425 words. 6847 to start with, that means 1423 words cut or roughly 20%. Not bad. Still need to find 425 words to lose. Am going to have dinner and come back at it.
Edit 10:44pm Down to 5116 words. Close enough I think. Plus I got to use the magic words "eldritch," "rugose," "noisome," "squamous," "ichor," and "cyclopean." Behold my mighty Lovecraft-fu. Or something like that.
Time for sleep. My rugose grey-cells are noisomely squamous as I traverse my cyclopean house to deposit ichor somewhere (don't worry, I didn't write the story like that). I want to read through it again, maybe in hard copy, to make sure I didn't miss something (or to find more things I could cut) and then submit tomorrow night.
Saturday Among the Nieces and Nephews
Yesterday was filled with a co-ed wedding shower for nephew and soon-to-be-niece-in-law. There's something to be said for ritual and tradition. This party was neither. It was mostly a kegger for the kids. No homage to coming of age to be married, entering a new phase of life, etc. Granted they've been living together for a few years now, so some of the "you're wedding night will be special" couldn't be there. The passage of life stuff could, but was very absent. Oh well.
At the party they had a game of "Corn Hole." Okay, stop giggling. Basically it's Bean-bag Toss, but the bag is filled with corn and there are more standardized rules (including a specific kind of paint needed to be used on the goal). So I have no problem with the actual (for lack of better word) sport. It does take some skill and technique, but could we please call it something else? Corn hole already has a meaning, one that I don't think should be applied to a kids game (although Corn Hole is mostly played by adults now, go figure). Every time I see it, or have somebody say the name, I laugh. And yesterday, not only did we play the game, we did it tournament style. You know what's next, right? It'll become an Olympic Sport and the commentators will have to announce that So-and-So is the Gold Medalist in Corn Holing. That's just something I don't want to know about.
After the party we ate dinner with another nephew and his friends. We finally got them to open up right as we finished up. They were somewhat funny. When I was their age I think I was a little stick in the mud, but they've got me beat. Youth is wasted on the young.
Then we visited with another niece and played cards until late. That was fun. She's still in high school. We discussed if she should retake her ACTs. The first time she scored a 30, not bad. She aced the math section, but faltered in the English side of the test. Where she placed percentage wise we said that retaking the test probably wasn't necessary, except the parents are going to pay for it. We said that if she felt she could move up three or four points, it might be worth it. I'm glad she's so smart. She was a good kid, but when she hit middle-school I was worried she was going off the tracks into to much of a celebrity watcher/emulator. I'm also very proud she's good in math.
At the party they had a game of "Corn Hole." Okay, stop giggling. Basically it's Bean-bag Toss, but the bag is filled with corn and there are more standardized rules (including a specific kind of paint needed to be used on the goal). So I have no problem with the actual (for lack of better word) sport. It does take some skill and technique, but could we please call it something else? Corn hole already has a meaning, one that I don't think should be applied to a kids game (although Corn Hole is mostly played by adults now, go figure). Every time I see it, or have somebody say the name, I laugh. And yesterday, not only did we play the game, we did it tournament style. You know what's next, right? It'll become an Olympic Sport and the commentators will have to announce that So-and-So is the Gold Medalist in Corn Holing. That's just something I don't want to know about.
After the party we ate dinner with another nephew and his friends. We finally got them to open up right as we finished up. They were somewhat funny. When I was their age I think I was a little stick in the mud, but they've got me beat. Youth is wasted on the young.
Then we visited with another niece and played cards until late. That was fun. She's still in high school. We discussed if she should retake her ACTs. The first time she scored a 30, not bad. She aced the math section, but faltered in the English side of the test. Where she placed percentage wise we said that retaking the test probably wasn't necessary, except the parents are going to pay for it. We said that if she felt she could move up three or four points, it might be worth it. I'm glad she's so smart. She was a good kid, but when she hit middle-school I was worried she was going off the tracks into to much of a celebrity watcher/emulator. I'm also very proud she's good in math.
Friday, August 1, 2008
Footprints in a Clean Desert
Starting back up. Had some epiphanies in between. Did some minor tweaks.
I also realized I was switching POV too often with scene breaks. Now I'll only have three breaks with POV switches. Start with 3rd Person Limited (opening frame), switch to 1st Person (bulk of story), then back to 3rd Person Limited (close frame/twist) following a different character. You know, unless I change my mind again. The other switches (mostly inserting the frame back in that 1st Person narrative) weren't needed and didn't advance the story.
At 2206 words, we're at 6025 total.
Edit 11:56pm 3321 words in, 5685 words total, so I cut 340 words tonight (over all 1160 words are gone). Here's where it gets hard. I've taken out most of the easy stuff. Still need to find 700 words to cut while keeping the story. Probably will need to go through it a few more times to get there.
I combined the two scenes, added in a bunch of key phrases, tightened the language a little more. I'm not describing everything, but hopefully I'm describing what's needed. I've added a little bit here and there (so I've cut more words that is shown here). Used some of the standard Lovecraftian language.
Tonight's favorite line, "Another example of the Pentagon wasting hundreds of millions so I can push a button and make it go boom.” Close second “Think they can out-weird the US, eh. They should think again."
I also realized I was switching POV too often with scene breaks. Now I'll only have three breaks with POV switches. Start with 3rd Person Limited (opening frame), switch to 1st Person (bulk of story), then back to 3rd Person Limited (close frame/twist) following a different character. You know, unless I change my mind again. The other switches (mostly inserting the frame back in that 1st Person narrative) weren't needed and didn't advance the story.
At 2206 words, we're at 6025 total.
Edit 11:56pm 3321 words in, 5685 words total, so I cut 340 words tonight (over all 1160 words are gone). Here's where it gets hard. I've taken out most of the easy stuff. Still need to find 700 words to cut while keeping the story. Probably will need to go through it a few more times to get there.
I combined the two scenes, added in a bunch of key phrases, tightened the language a little more. I'm not describing everything, but hopefully I'm describing what's needed. I've added a little bit here and there (so I've cut more words that is shown here). Used some of the standard Lovecraftian language.
Tonight's favorite line, "Another example of the Pentagon wasting hundreds of millions so I can push a button and make it go boom.” Close second “Think they can out-weird the US, eh. They should think again."
Famous Last Words
Hey, there's another chance to win a free copy of Neil Gaiman's Graveyard Book. I didn't win the first time, so I'm trying again.
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