What I did this weekend

In this age of plastic money, do children still know the joy of counting up change to see if you can afford something you want? I know, I could afford it no matter what, but there is something visceral in counting pennies, nickels, dimes and quarters that still brings a smile to my heart. Seeing all those shinies in stacks and piles, knowing the value of each, it still thrills me. I don't know if kids know that simple pleasure any more. I will note I was born at a time when you could get multiple packs of bubblegum for a penny (I remember when Bazooka went from 3 pieces to 2).

I'm not sure counting Chucky-E-Cheese tickets is the same thing. First off, they don't have the weight coinage has. There's also not the thrill of discovering a new facing on the money or an especially old date. Tickets don't weigh you down with their gravity. There's no real smell to tickets (or there shouldn't be) like coins smell as they're handled.

Oh, and it was $55.38, which means I can get my honey that gift. So there was also the joy in that. Yes, I was going to buy it anyway. It's an easier decision (and it made me feel a little younger) when I know I have the cash in hand (which will be translated into a gift certificate and then into the gift itself).

I don't use cash that often anymore, so I don't collect that much change. This would be the various pieces of change I've collected for almost two years now. Which is another thing I wonder if kids are missing. Cash was hard, real, in your face when I was young. Pricing, however, could be all over the board and wasn't very real (or realistic). Now money is the same way.

Oh, and since we're talking about it, "Git offa my lawn!" :: shakes cain in general direction ::

It wasn't all I did. It's not like I Scrooge McDucked into the piles ($55, mostly in quarters, isn't much of a pile to begin with). I also did cleaning and woodworking (rebuilt one of the tables, created a new one, smaller top but taller legs). Also I notice I couldn't keep the tally in my head as well as I used to. While I've always stacked them in denominations (quarters in dollar stacks, pennies in tens), I had always been able to keep track of what I had counted. This time I needed the stacks to confirm what I had in my head.

Three things make a post, plus one

There's lots going on in the private life, but about 99% of it the same old boring, "work-school-sleep" that it's not worth mentioning or writing about.

Last week, though, I was week and had some regular Coke for lunch. At work we have a big project so they're providing lunch most days (we'll see if that continues this week as well, I'd guess not), and while I've been over eating (stress eater, hi, that's me) I've been able to avoid most of the bad things (when I can). But on Wednesday I succumbed and poured a cup of Coke. Man I miss that rush. My brain felt more awake and hitting on all cylinders than it has for almost two years now. And I admit, I had another cup (they were small plastic cups). And then another on Friday (Thursdays I'm at the hospital doing clinical, where strangely enough, I don't overeat or feel the need to get caffeinated all the time). Hopefully with the weekend I can break out of that cycle. But I miss that feeling. I remember why I used to do a lot more writing and experimental writing when I was drinking pop regularly.

Clinicals have ground to a halt. That is logging in several comps a day has stopped. For the CT licensure we need 125 comps from certain categories (types of studies). I have about 70 or so. This is a little different than X-ray school. So I'm hitting up against several problems. One, I think the people I work with believe I'm much farther along than I am because they treat me like, "Oh, you know how to do this, just do it", we've also been very busy so there hasn't been time for me to ask questions and say "I want to do this" when the exams are complicated. Take my attempt at doing PEs (pulmonary embolism study). Now, I've done about 20 of these (and they're a little tricky). But the basic thing is you take a scanogram (planogram, scout, whatever they want to call it) and then set up the study including the locator/tracker on the pulmonary artery. It's easy to find, just set the tracker line at the carina (where your bronchus divides to fill the left and right lungs, it's mostly easy to see). That's where the pulmonary artery rises from your right ventricle, travels over the heart and divides into the left and right branch. It looks like a very thick, upside-down Y. Except the first two patients I said, "I want to comp this" had abnormal anatomy. One's pulmonary artery was about 2" down from the carina (needing 2 extra scans for me to find) and the other's pulmonary artery branched almost right above the pulmonary valve and took strange courses to the lungs. Sigh. The third patient? The ER didn't secure the connector to his IV catheter correctly and we blew contrast and saline all over the place ("fortunately" not enough made it into the veins of the patient that we could try again). So, yea, no PE comps for me, yet. We also don't see many extremities and one of our radiologists is very particular on how he wants the multiplanar reconstructions made. But I think I have that down now that I had a little practice over the weekend. I really don't want to have to continue clinicals into the Fall, but that might be necessary. Sigh.

And then there's the not having time for anything else problem. This is really starting to tick me off. The only benefit is I no longer panic when my RSS feed is over 600 articles. But that also means I'm not able to bring you all some good content I know is out there, but I just never get to it. And I know I'm in big-D again. There isn't much mental time to crawl out of it either. So I hobble along the best I can, showing a different face to the world (at least at the day thing and clinicals). I remember having a life at one point. I really wish I could get back to having one. And now "Follow the Yellow Brick Road" is playing in my head. Thanks, Brain. Gee, do you think the Wizard will give me Prozac?

And it was Fathers' Day. I made the mistake of looking at Facebook today. I remember with Mothers' Day several people mentioned that not all mothers were the most loving, but apparently most people don't know that not all dads were the best either. Thanks to all the people who made up for it, especially my grandfather. He taught me what it meant to be a man and I miss him terribly.

The Local Girls Have a Way About Them

Ah, it's the holiday re-listening to:


A heartwarming tale of Christmas terror. Best money I've ever spent.

Personal Epiphanies

So, this will probably reveal a little to much about me, but so it goes.

As you might know, Bob, I'm a stress eater. When things go to shit, I feel the need to snack. I'm not proud of this fact, I'm just stating it to lay the ground work.

For the past half decade I've been consciously trying to lose weight. It's also been a pretty stressful time, what with losing the job I loved, having to start a new career, and all the other thousands of things that add up into a bundle of "OMG, this queso cheesy dip is the bestest."

I've tried all kinds of strategies. When I have the time to use the Wii to keep my metabolism rate up, I am able to lose weight. But the day job is a fairly sedentary thing (as are most of them these days). And then, as I lose weight and get to feeling comfortable, something always happens to increase the stress level. As an example, I'll give you just the latest from today, sales rep was standing at a local print shop counter wondering if I could send him banner art that he could print out to place on our product for a show that starts tomorrow. 'Cause, you know, I remember perfectly every little job I've done here over the past 4.5 years (in that time I've generated over 600 gigabytes of data for over 100,000 files - quick math thanks to automated counting tools) and/or just have something laying about ready to go. He's actually standing at the counter waiting for me to send him something (don't worry, already taken care of). And that wasn't the worst/strangest request today. Just so you know what I'm dealing with here (have I mentioned the executive who needed business cards printed in a few hours because he was out of them and about to leave for an overseas trip?).

So, yea, diet blown.

But what I really wanted to tell you was this. Working as a Rad Tech this weekend at the hospital we dealt with a few trauma calls, getting a patient orientated, trying to figure out the numerous software packages we have to use to maintain all the information and trying to do things I hadn't been trained for, a few rush orders for ICU, not to mention the normal rush work for the ED we do (including two stroke protocols).

No desire to snack. While stressed, there wasn't that stress response.

Now, I don't have to deal with office politics (or not much of them) at the hospital, which is a lot of the stress I deal with at the day job. But still, as a professor once intoned (and I often repeat) "It's just paper" at the day thing. At the Rad Tech thing, I am dealing with people's lives (mostly indirectly, but sometimes like this weekend, I'm directly involved with saving them). And the "just paper" stuff stresses me to keep this weight on (or gain it back, I am up about 30 lbs over my lightest, which was just before I started here) while holding people's lives in my hands leads to nary a twinge of "Feed Me Seymour."

It just kind of hit me this weekend that was going on.

Taking a dive for the money and the glory

Warning, Conspiracy Theory Ahead.

So, the media is still all abuzz about Eric Cantor loosing his primary. Mostly because they were upset that the story so far (and everywhere else since) is the Tea Party is on the ropes and establishment Republicans were taking their party back (not really, because all those TPers who were in office also won their primaries). But it's all about the story. Remember, it's all about the story.

So, let's look at some of the facts here. In a year where TP challengers weren't able to gain much traction, the number 2 GOP operative in the House suffers not only a defeat, but a stunning defeat at the hands of his "inexperienced" opponent (see earlier link about how a lot of Dark Money was involved in this campaign, but similar to other campaigns). The same Republican who had his eyes on the desiccating corpse of John Boehner to time his own ascendancy to the second most powerful position in the country (Speaker of the House). A party operative who suffered through the cut-throat internal politics to rise up within the ranks in just a little over a decade of in office. This is the guy who apparently couldn't drive 30 minutes out of Washington on the weekends to spend time in his district. (and here I wonder if Mr. Cantor had an apartment in DC or if he commuted from home).

Okay, time to put on the tin-foil hats. Here it comes.

Eric Cantor wanted to lose.

Now, now, wait a second. Hear me out here.

Eric Cantor "wanted to be Speaker" as every pundit with a microphone was saying. The man who would be king. And that might have been true in the past.

But, really, to be speaker he would have to move Boehner out of the way. Boehner, who has already survived two internal coup attempts). Boehner, who has expressed his frustration with his own caucus. Boehner, who pretty much has a seat guaranteed for as long as he can stand for election. This is who he would have to wait his chance behind.

Now, Majority Leader is nothing to sneeze at. It's an amazing position most people would kill for (and many have figuratively done just that). But being in Congress means fundraising 24/7. No, really, when your Congress person isn't in committee, or on the floor voting, or attending appointments they are on the phone (there are party phone banks conveniently nearby) or attending lunches/dinners/breakfasts with lobbyists, donors, rainmakers, etc. Most congress members' offices are run by their staff (as most of the decisions, questions made in committee, speeches, etc are written by those staffers). It's a grueling lifestyle that will grind most people down. As Majority Leader, Eric Cantor had an even tougher schedule than most. Not only was he raising his own funds, he would raise those to donate to other candidates (to curry favor and "keep the right people" in office), and raise money for the party over all (including many of the party subcommittees). That's his real job.

So, Eric Cantor was looking at probably 6 or 8 more years in the Leader position. Notice I didn't say Majority Leader. There is a distinct chance, even with the intense gerrymandering that went on in 2010, that because of the supremely low approval rates that the GOP may lose control of the House (probably not this cycle, but if they win the White House in 2016, definitely in 2018, note the timing of that and when Eric may have had a chance to become Speaker).

Mr. Cantor is a smart guy. I disagree with him, but I can see he's got a mind working behind all those talking points he spouts at microphones. So he's looking at a low probability of being Speaker if he does his job correctly, because of the timing and the ability of Speaker Boehner. And then, look at the actual job. Eric has a front seat to all the internal struggles, the attempts to unseat, the inability to get anything done (including internally). Herding cats would be preferable. Cats that still had all their claws and thought of you as a scratching post. The Speaker may be powerful, but just take a look at what Boehner has been able to do with it. Not much.

Is that a job you would take?

Or, would you look at being in the prime of your life and able to make multiples more money by being a K Street Lobbyist? Leveraging his political savvy and connections to make a boat load of money, and maybe have time to see the kids and wife on weekends. Maybe take a vacation once in a while. Maybe not drive yourself and your reputation into the dust pile of politics (it's no longer a mud pit, it's been dried out). Maybe live a little.

And still have power. Still direct government. Still be connected. All the perks of being a player in DC.

Plus you have a full pension from the US Government for the service you've already given.

So, what would you do? Would you fight against the talking heads, spend your money, lose more time from family, suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune to keep the chance, the merest chance you might become Speaker. If your party can hold the House. If you don't screw up. If you aren't eaten by the insurgents in your own ranks. And just what would being Speaker mean? Look at Boehner. Want that?

Or do you think that the TP will continue to gain ground. Spend your time doing the things expected of your office and maybe not spend so much money or time in your district (note that all those "stake houses" the media is talking about, not in his district, those were all for other candidates). Maybe soften your position on some hot button politics (but in line with party goals). And then maybe fail in a wave of anti-incumbancy momentum which nobody could really blame you for. And then cash in.

The only thing he misjudged, I think, is that he would be the only incumbent to lose to a challenger. Yea, that doesn't look so good, does it. But note, he's the only one (so far).

Just a theory.

The things I haven't been telling you

Because of all the time spent working and studying it seems that my blog has just become a linking station. That isn't going to change soon as we head into summer session. Normally I've been going from 7am to 10-11pm. This summer I'll typically be going from 7am to midnight. With some overnight shifts thrown in for shits and giggles.

The big thing is that I'm no longer a Teamster. Given that my day job doesn't involve much print and the job I'm transferring into involves zero print, I figured it was time to cut my losses. It doesn't help (or did help depending on how you think about it) that they're changing the rules on our inter-local pension fund. Again. Not only are they reducing the benefit, but they want to remove the lump sum option. So before it goes away, I'm taking advantage of it. Which is really sad. If the benefit remained about the same it really would be a fantastic benefit for retirement (probably doubling my income from Social Security). However the rule change before I joined was to allow the Teamsters to buy into this extra benefit (if I had been able to retire from the print shop I would have had 2 pensions along with Social Security - also, my union is affiliated with the Teamsters, but that's only been for the past decade), that was supposed to shore up the fund. The fund is currently stable with a very large amount of money invested. But it's top heavy (more retirees than those people contributing) and it's not insured by the Pension Benefits Guaranty Corporation so if it goes away, all that money goes away with it. This move may also involve much of my freelance work going bye-bye as well.

For the reboot I'm going to receive the Outstanding Radiologic Technology Student of 2014 award. Which I guess is a medal. So for graduation I'll be able to wear my Phi Theta Kappa stole, a gold cord for graduating with honors (unless I screw up it should be Summa Cum Laude, if I screw up it'll be Magna Cum Laude), and the medal. Go me. I really wish I had this focus graduating form high school and starting college. However, my life would have been radically different.

Also with the reboot I'm down to the nitty-gritty when it comes to competencies. I'm not entirely certain but I think I only have 2 more to go (depends on if I passed the mandible before I left on Friday, I don't have clinicals for two weeks, so that's when I'll find out if I have to redo that). There's also two more checklists to go over (fairly easy, "which button takes the exposure" kind of thing). Oh and 1 or 2 film critiques (pretty easy). Considering where I was this time last year, that's a big improvement. This past semester I had no failed comps (depending on that mandible) which is a big change. I'm a lot more confident, competent, and a heck of a lot faster. At this time last year it would take me about 15-18 minutes for a 2 view chest. It now takes me less than 8 minutes.

My RSS feed continues to be above 500 (currently at 536). I haven't been able to get it below 450 since February.

Spring is here, which means the grass needs to be mowed. Haven't done it yet, but it still needs to be mowed. Maybe this week we'll start up the mower. I'll also need to finish some of the outdoor projects.

And then there's the writing. Must, must, must get back to putting words down. You should see the note papers next to my bed. Lots of them.

Wait, What?

Okay, here there be Sherlock Spoilers. Read on at you're own risk.

I'm going to call bullshit, right off the bat. "His Last Vow", really disappointing. Besides the "why can't we have nice things for once" plots twists, the end just doesn't make sense (even in a way of "ZOMG, and the fannish fanning over the end, you won't believe the hype").

The plots holes in this episode are so wide there's no gauging them. Besides committing the sin of "withholding information from the reader/viewer" serially in this episode, the quick varnishing of Mary being the leverage to get to Mycroft doesn't explain how Jeanine is Magnusson's assistant and Mary's Maid of Honor. As explained in the previous episode, "Sign of Three", the universe isn't so lazy as that.

And then there are 3 very plausible chances to kill Magnusson (which is clearly where all of this is heading) without leading to the forced error ending of shipping Sherlock off to sure death in Eastern Europe. The delay Mary has after disabling all of Magnusson's security - which, BTW, wouldn't that have also tripped the guards to gather Sherlock in the lobby since the big guy was already up top? - is just bad writing. If Mary is who they tried to portray her as, Magnusson would have been bleeding out by the time Sherlock and John got through the routine of checking the other bodies. No, really, pros don't linger and give long speeches (doesn't anybody read the Evil Overlord list?). As Syndrome says in The Incredibles, "I don't believe it, you got me monologuing." Yea, people don't do that. I blame James Bond. Anyway, Sherlock surly went to Magnusson's to kill him (he makes sure John brought his gun, why didn't Sherlock bring his own gun, though, he has one). Why didn't he do this as Magnusson is showing off his master plan (again, read the Evil Overlord lists) sitting in his special room (all the pieces are revealed right then)? And why John just didn't blow Magnusson's head off after the first flick, I'll never know (because, after all, he's in love with Mary, has already dedicated himself to protect her, and this asshole in front of him is both distracted and being an asshole, John already has shown himself capable of sudden violence).

And then there's the end. Really. Are we going to pull that trick a second time? So I'm going to guess here that it's someone else using Moriarity's image and reputation (after all, the voice is completely different, as exemplified by the final cut). Also, Moriarity was not a publicity hound. He works in the shadows, that's his MO. The pubic doesn't know who he is. He's not interested in generic terrorism (which this message clearly is), he is also about leverage and the pressure point. And there's really no way for Moriarity to come back. There was a conspiracy to help Sherlock, Moriarity was alone on that roof. Blanks? Sorry, even blanks fired inside the mouth will kill you (don't try this at home, take my word for it). There is a possibility that shooting yourself (or being shot) through the skull can leave you alive. It's possible, except for what happens when you shoot through the roof of your mouth with the gun in your mouth (there's a lot more damage than just the bullet, which is also why firing a blank in your mouth will kill you as well). Plus, Sherlock, our master of observation, watched him die. If it had been some trick, don't you think he would have noticed? Plus, pulling one character back from the veil may be acceptable, two or more become the "Pamela Ewing discovers Patrick Bobby Ewing in the shower" moment (except for Futurama, but then that is an animated show). So, no, not buying it.

I could accept the rest (drug den to get at Magnusson, which then sort of dies on the vine, Mary being an uber-secretly deadly assassin trying to make good, all the coincidences, and drugging everyone on Christmas), but that last one just tossed me out of the story. If this is actually a return of Moriarity, I have to call bullshit. Also, I have to call "lazy writer syndrome" (which is a shame given the rest of the show).

The things that remind me

Going through some of my reading list and Terri Windling's usually magnificent "Tunes for a Monday Morning" posts I hit this. I now have the opening pull quote for Act III (the Orpheus in the Underworld part) of the WIP. And let me say, I love Rufus' voice, always have.

There are things in our lives that we've known and martyred to the necessity of living. Dust strewn, dimly lit figures flutter though our consciousness, and then we are by chance reminded of our former selves and all that revelatory light burns through our cobweb shroud.


Most people like to quote the first part of Sonnet 29, but I love the end.

Haply I think on thee, and then my state,
Like to the lark at break of day arising
From sullen earth, sings hymns at heaven's gate;
For thy sweet love remember'd such wealth brings
That then I scorn to change my state with kings.

To put in the modern vulgar parlance… all I need is you, babe, and the rest of the world can go fuck itself.

I may have to sing this to Bette tonight. Or at least recite it.

Figures don't lie, but…

Okay, is someone with a big readership linking to my linkee-poo posts? 'Cause even though my posting schedule is way slower than it used to be, some of these numbers of unique views are just astronomical. I'm humbled, but I don't think it's really me. Did I get on someone's list or something?

I know, I should probably go crunch the numbers of where all these hits are coming from (there has been an increase in attempted spam and link farming lately). I just don't have the time at the moment.

For Humor, Context Is Everything

Maybe I just read too much of Doonesbury, but when I saw this in my facebook feed I fell off the chair laughing.

New Look

'Cause the old one had been here for a while. Hope you like it.

Random thoughts

So, last night I had several intense dreaming sessions. This is unusual for me as I don't often remember my dreams. Last night there were three dreams about writing. Not of me actually writing, or stories I would like to write, or hitting the lottery as a semi-famous writer, but three dreams about carving out time to write and constantly being thwarted. I have had a few hours here and there where I could write. Mostly I stared at the screen and tinkered around the edges of things.

Friday was the first time I messed up on the schedule. I forgot to bring home the hard drive with all my work on it. Fortunately there was enough work in email to complete the week with 40 hours.

The reboot is stumbling a little. For one class I'm pretty sure I'll get an A without too many issued. The positioning class I'm again struggling right at the border line between B and A. And I think for clinicals I'm smack in the mille of a B. Clinicals is where I'm really struggling. About a month ago I had a talk with one of the tech about how I was doing. And from that talk I stepped back a little from the course I was on (see the technique, pre-comp, and then try for comp) and worked on the basics, getting a rhythm, and just tightening up my skills. For the past week and a half I've tried to get back into finishing up comps (this summer's schedule is going to make it tough, and I want to start with a few in the bag). It didn't go well. But last Thursday was actually very good. Hopefully the next few weeks will see breakthrough.

For some reason this year is a banner year for freelancing. I have two new clients, one of which is a recurring customer (I've already completed two jobs for them since the beginning of the year, and I have a feeling there's a lot more being lined up). Both of these came through word of mouth from other clients. And now that I've knocked those projects out, there's two more in the wings from my existing customer base (recurring projects on schedules).

Still trying to figure out how I'm going to get yard work done during the early summer.

Monday serendipity

This weekend I was looking forward to a little studying and a little writing. Just getting some notes down that I had scrabbled. Also catching up on some writing process reading I've been meaning to get to (have I mentioned I'm now approaching this advice like it was a college course, hmm, might have to write a post on that). I also had to work 8 hours on Saturday, but that was doable. There's no test this week (that I know of), so this was getting back to being a normal student instead of Lastminute Crambaby.

And then not one, but two clients needed rush work on Friday. One of which was a 15 minute thing (takes longer to bill than to do the work), but the other was 10 hours of layout that I asked for three weeks ago. But now it needs to be done right now.

So what did I learn this weekend? That google reader will cut off posts older than 30 days. That was the reading and note taking I wanted to do. I'm sure I can find it again, I'm just pissed.

So now I'm sitting here, waiting to register for Spring classes. If it was a normal day, I'd be on my way to school. Fortunately I no longer have an 8am class and by the time I'm finished, I can make it to the 9am classes.

I should be doing some of that writing stuff. However, when I write I lose track of time. And I can't do that today so I can get the lab times I want (and will make my life so much easier).

:: Anticipation, anticipa-a-tion is making me wait. ::

Happy 3000

This is the 3000th post on Story Bones. To celebrate, have a poem written just for you.

Autumn burns
trees to nakedness,
a bonfire
of maturing night.
The twilight of days
turns the veil translucent
like a window in candlelight.
Faces on each side
searching the gloaming for kin.

Summer's heat wanes to
waxing moonglow
as our guiding
stars magnify,
driving the songs in our chests.
And our imaginations ignite
the cold fires consuming
the northern sky.

A time of revelry
and masks descends
in sparks. A feast
of famines and jest,
a rollicking table of bounty
against the skeletal time to come.
Harvests past echo in snickering blades
and susurrus of satedness.
Et in arcadia ego.
We dance away from
the scythe, knowing soon
our own reaping will
place us in transposition
of the veil.

Mirror, Mirror

Okay, so I promised to do this the next time I shaved my beard off. So I took the plunge last weekend. I start clinicals in two weeks. Since long beards are unhygienic (shedding both follicles and microbes), I had my choice of scratchy short, the Amish Cheesemaker hairnet (includes the beard), or going for full shorn.

I've mentioned before that with only a mustache I look like an Italian porn star from the 70s, so we're not going for that look. But while shaving my face, I took the time to take a picture of Evil Steve With a Goatee.

Yeah, that's the look that has parents clutching their children as I walk through the grocery store. I haven't cut my hair yet, so no pictures of the completely shaven Steve.

A few random thoughts

1) Marriage isn't a zero sum game, either within the relationship or in society as a total. In fact, it's an institution that gains strength from having more people committed to it. Again, for both in the relationship and in society.

2) "Being against same-sex marriage doesn't necessarily make you a bigot." Um, actually yes, yes it does. You might need to reread the definition of bigot.

3) "But the Bible says…" is never a defense unless you support rape, slavery, multiple marriage, kingship, wholesale slaughter of innocents, misogyny and keeping a strict kosher home. Diverge from any of those and either you accept the new covenant that the Christ cemented (and said, "all that stuff that came before, not important anymore") or you're willing to negotiate on any and all of those topics.

4) Switching topics, anybody else think that maybe the new underwear bomb was glommed from the wreckage of the car we blew up last week and all this "double agent" talk (which, btw, is the wrong term with an understanding of the current narrative) is psych warfare?

5) The inner me is practically giddy about only having a day job (ie. 1 job, no classes, no meetings).

6) Not to question the President's commitment or anything, but have you had the thought that the President made the announcement supporting same-sex marriage (note, no new policy direction) just to get Romney on the record against it?

7) "My view is that marriage itself is between a man and a woman… this is a very tender and sensitive topic, as are many social issues, but I have the same view that I've had since — since running for office," said Mr. Romney. "…Since running for office"? WTF does that mean? All while implying the President has flip-flopped. That is pure comedy. I'm sure it would be better if we also only discussed this in "quiet rooms."

Slipsliding

Spent yesterday working out in the yard dinging up the new mower blade I just put on. The lawn, btw, looks much nicer after being cut with the new blade. Although the fungus that grew on the bottom of the mower in the caked-on grass from the last mow was a little disgusting. Also pulled up wild rose and buckthorn trees. So today my arms, back, and thighs are killing me.

Yeah, I should probably just cut them off at ground level and paint what's left with brush-b-gone or highly concentrated round-up®. But what fun is that?

So, today we're taking it easy, doing a little light surfing, studying for the two exams this week (final in Nutrition and licensing exam for pharmacy technician). We'll also do some cleaning.

And then, having waxed the cat thoroughly, we'll be staring at a blank screen for an hour waiting for the words to flow.

Hope you have a good weekend as well.

The taxing post

Because I've complained about it before, I thought I'd let you all know the result of this year's taxes. Oh, and I submitted my returns last month, in case you're wondering.

This will be the first year in a decade that I'll be getting a refund from the federal government. And a good one at that. So after changing my W4 to "married, hold at higher single rate" with an extra amount withheld, I've finally gotten to the point where I don't owe at the end of the year. Compare this to 2000 where I claimed 3 deductions and received a refund. Now, I do earn almost 165% of what I did back in 2000, so part of that may have been working through the middle of that new tax bracket, but what really turned the tide was the Bush Tax Cuts. After they were passed, because we don't have children, we went from a net overpayment to a net underpayment. About every 2 years after that I would adjust my W4 to try and get to even.

What really made the difference? While I haven't fully reviewed the full numbers through the documents, we had a ton of deductible expenses last year. A mix of massive mileage on the car, donations to charity, medical expenses, and retirement savings all added up to take us beyond the standard deductions (which our tax account predicted we would be taking this year).

So we're getting a refund this year. Sometime this summer I work through the full numbers (taking these classes has really sapped my time and mental space).

That hollow, empty sound that rests in the valley

The vast majority of people swim with the flow through the river of life. Some perturb the waters and create ripples, some widen the bank, some even swim against the flow. And then there are those few who cut whole new channels. Earl Scruggs was one of those last people. Most modern US banjo players play Scruggs Style. The world is a little less rich because one of the giants has fallen. At least we have his music. If all you know is Foggy Mountain Breakdown or the Ballad of Jed Clampett, that's a pity.

How can it be Spring when I feel so sprung already?

I think I've killed myself by learning too much about story. Some stories I like to write are just an interesting story, but there's very little conflict. But now I'm looking at the stories from the viewpoint of "who wants what/which desires conflict/how does this shape the story" and things are falling down. Sigh. Sometimes I think the desires of the characters aren't open enough and so the story fails because the reader doesn't understand the desires.

And I think that's part of why I'm stuck spinning my wheels in the outlines. You know, other than the ZOMG busy, busy, busy schedule. Another thing that keeps me in the bullpen warming up instead of pitching the game is the day thing. I literally feel blowout by the time I get home. And while I used to feel good about that, the "giving it my all" to the job, it's now more the feeling of being blowout like a flat tire. And now is the added flavor of strife between divisions of which I get to be a pawn in the game. That'll pretty much knock the wind out of my sails (not to mention cue the stress eating behaviors).

On top of all that I'm beginning to feel my subconscious doesn't want to the write the book my consciousness wants to write. It might be early writing jitters (would be better if I was actually, you know, writing), but when I think about other books I've started ideas for, they feel fresher and "more inviting." They feel "more right."

You can probably chalk this all up to, "Writer feeling the jitters, again. Writer complaining about how hard it is (find time/find words/get enthused) to write, again." But would it be an actual creative process if we didn't complain about it?