Bad News and the Other Bad News

All around wonderful person Camille informs me that a ".Mac" email address seems to be having epic fail issues from one of her work email addresses. This is highly distressing. The email is bouncing back as undeliverable. Has anybody else sent email to me to have it bounce? I think I have two emails I need to respond to, but those are ongoing conversations. Has anybody else sent me something that I've never responded to, or received a bounced back email?

Sometimes .Mac has issues and goes offline for a few hours, but then when it comes back all the email should clear through. I used to have problems with a Bigfoot email address, which is why I no longer use it. I guess I should try and see if my gmail address will forward, or if I can get Mail to check that. For those of my friends who work in tech support the disconnect seems to be occurring with a server named drift.myserverhosts.com.

Oh yes, she also rejected my poem for Diet Soap. But it was a very nice rejection. Something about not quite fitting the themes. Fair cop. Thanks Camille.

It Only Takes a Moment

It's a rare event when I see a movie on opening weekend, but we got to the theater early, and we noticed that there were very few cars in the lot. So we switched going to see the latest Indiana Jones movie, which I'll probably see next weekend with my Mom, to seeing WALL-e Pixar, what can you say.

I recommend it. Heck, the theater was about a third full, mostly parents with really young kids (less than 10-years old, more like 3-7 years), and there was very little chatter. Which you'll think is amazing when you hear me say that the first half of the film is essentially a silent movie. Now, there's lots of sound, and the repeating playing of park/date scene from Hello, Dolly (and the song, "It Only Takes a Moment"). Yes, WALL-e and EVE make some speech sounds, but they're so minimal that you could replace them with lip reading and three dialog cards if the characters were human. And, WALL-e is Buster Keaton, no doubt about it the writers and animators did their film research. Like I said, it's a silent movie.

The second half of the movie is a mash-up of Titanic (what do you think "Axiom" refers to anyway) and 2001, A Space Odyssey. It's well done, but all the tell-tale signs are there. I'm not going to give you spoilers, there's other sites that'll do that.

There were some glaring plot bunny problems with the movie, and it gets somewhat sappy at points, but it's a very smart film. Really, I would point out some things that happen (that are crucial to the plot, not like how WALL-E's full power sound is the Macintosh "Bong" noise, hilarious BTW), but I'd rather you see them for yourself. Big hint, keep track of everybody and everything WALL-e comes in contact with. That's an important plot issue.

There's plenty of Pixar humor spread throughout. If you go to a matinee (which we didn't, also a rare event), the pre-feature short is worth at least that much. Really, Pixar humor at it's finest.

The over-all message and plot line of the movie is a bit didactic, but hey, the target audience isn't so much into subtlety if you know what I mean. Even with that, I enjoyed the film.

Well, that's how you should be starting every day

All around wonder woman, Camille, announces on her blog her multiple recent sales. Including one to Fantasy magazine! Good work, Camille, you rock! You all should go tell her how wonderful she is (yeah, I know, there's a big overlap in our audiences already).

Thumpers, Gunboys, and Bladesmen, oh my

So, yesterday, before I'm finished with the other three stories in progress (not to mention the novel... the novel, ::zombie arms:: must write novel), a new one flows out. This one also uses characters I've written about before (but have never finished the stories).

Not that I'm complaining, but I really wish my Muse would keep to the subject at hand. The Muse gives what the Muse gives, she doesn't care a damn about your schedules.

In other writing news, after going to the SF/F poetry group meeting on Monday, Tuesday saw serious set back in the form of things with the night job going all pear-shaped. Damnit. I feel like Scotty in one of the movies, he's on the view screen as something goes "sprong" and steam starts pouring out behind him "I just fixed that thing!" Tomorrow is the doctor's appointment. Hopefully there is a solution. In there, somewhere.

But back to the Muse. Three handwritten pages (notepad sized, but I write small) of a fairly complete scene. There are details to be added, but I think this brings into focus the world this character lives in (that was a stumbling point in earlier stories, which I really would like to finish). In a brutish economy of thumpers and gunboys, he's above them as a bladesman. Most of all, he gets the job done. His job is sending messages. Just his presence in the action means that someone was willing to spend big bucks. "Only four people in this city can afford to have a bladesman on staff," as he would say. In this scene he says, "I'm an old school hacker." This is said while brandishing a very nice katana. This is not his normal sword, and there is a history with the blade he's using, but the katana is the right tool for the job.

Commercials

I've worked in advertising, and I've ranted. Two great tastes that go great together.

"American" Car manufacturers, 30mpg (highway) for a subcompact SUCKS. Quit trying to sell me on how great your vehicle line up is for cars that are in their second revision that you've never advertised on TV before, who get worse gas mileage than the car I traded in four years ago. Oh, and I bitch and moan when my Civic gets 36mpg highway during the winter. So having your top mileage below that, you aren't working hard enough (and spare me the "what the market wanted" or I'll expose the SUV and especially the Hummer 2-3 for what they are). We can build them. Hell, we are building them. You're engineers and market "gurus" can't get their heads out of their asses fast enough on this issue. Oh, and keep putting the battery below the washer fluid reservoir and other things that make it difficult to work on simple things ourselves.

Subway "Burger Barn Commercial." Paranoia? FU Subway. No soup for you. Oh, and Jerod's major weight loss, ski machine, not your stinking sandwiches. I'm going to remind everybody I know about that. He used exercise. Oh, and this commercial (plus the fact that Sub Sandwiches have the bread holding meat and other stuffings, they were not, Not, farging NOT meant to be a vehicle to flavor the bread with meat) you're not getting anymore of my money.

Five Million people have called Consolidated Credit? How many of those were, "Please put me on your no call list." And no, he doesn't look good.

There's this new commercial for an anti-perspirent, don't remember the name. Has some hot brunette, shows her under arm with a wet spot. Gee, that isn't cool (but holding her arm up pulls her blouse tight to show off her nice rack). Then she uses product, is dancing like a teenaged boy does (really, nobody dances like that except uptight people at weddings), has hunk come up behind her, she reaches up and behind to grab his skull. Look, no wet spot (and still nice rack). Two words for whatever company this is (really, don't even remember the name, I barely remember your product). Sex sell (obviously), but get some production values, dude. This looks like it was produced by a high-school freshman AV club (and not a good one). Oh, and when I was free and out dancing in clubs, if I had a shot at the hot brunette, a wet spot under her arm isn't going to stop me. I'm dancing, more than likely I'm sweaty too. Plus, if all goes well, the blouse isn't going to be an issue after a while. Sex sells.

Sometimes I'm very embarrassed for my profession.

Stop, what's that sound...

So, I've heard a lot of night noises; deer moving through woods and grasses, owls hunting, raccoons, frogs, peepers, kids walking though my woods, alien abductions. But tonight was a new one.

A heron at feeding at night. Completely weird and unexpected (we had to go through some field guides with CDs to call it). The only other thing close would be frightened deer (but, while the animal is moving, it's all around a small area, I would think the deer would light out over the field, and it isn't really a mammal sound).

We also had a black bear last week. I didn't get to see it, but supposedly it went through my neighbor's field. I just wanted to make sure it wasn't that (as our kitty is getting older and I don't want her to be a bear chew toy).

But herons. Freaky.

There's Something Wrong With the World Today

Well, this morning started off with hearing that George Carlin had passed on to the great censor in the sky. "Funny, he was here just a minute ago." I wonder if he no longer needs his stuff?

Then things got worse.

I have this theory that there are some projects that simply do not want to be finished. Not only did I have to run three sets of plates, it broke my machine, and then it broke the press. Did not want to get done. And that was this morning.

This evening went better with the poetry group. I had a lot of fun. And there was great poetry to share! Always fun.

And because you know exactly what I am when it comes to contests for books, John Scalzi points out there is a contest for Neil Gaiman's new book, The Graveyard Book.

Oh, and congrats to Nathan for winning the first drawing of Todd Wheeler's Summer Reading Contest.

Now if you'll excuse me, there's only 4.5 hours left until I have to get up (still wired from driving home late).

Wasted Days and Wasted Nights

Okay, well, the weekend wasn't a total waste, but there was plenty of distraction and procrastination.

While some things went swimmingly well, better than to be expected, others just sucked wind.

Hope your weekends were more productive.

Tomorrow night is a meeting of an SF Poetry Critique group, and I have an invite. I'm still debating if I can go or not. I should, just to see what it's like. But it is a work night, and the meeting doesn't start until 7. Plus, I'm all wonky with the poetry thing. Sure, I've been writing it, or it's more like that it's been leaking out of my ears, but it's been years.

I'll take my poetry on my flash drive, print out the directions, and make my mind up sometime tomorrow. Plus, there is the possibility of a Village Meeting tomorrow (sigh).

Fear is the mind killer.

Also, before I forget, thanks to everybody that helped me make a decision last week. I had my first invite to be a convention panelist. A momentary burst of "OMG! That so rocks!" followed quickly by "Holy crap, how could I ever do that." Well, with all your help I got over myself pretty quick and said, "Yes, I'd be delighted." Still haven't heard back (I think the person who asked was very busy this past weekend). So that may be one more convention I go to this year.

Also, while thinking about conventions, because someone who reads this blog asked me very nicely if I was going to Armadillocon, I now know a number of people (to varying degrees, but well enough to have a meal with) who are going. I had to say no, though. Sadly, airfare is not in the budget for this year (while OT is up lately, not enough to generate the wild spending of previous years). Ah, well. Hope you all are going to have fun. Austin was a cool city when I was there (only for a day) in the 90s. Although middle Texas in the hot days of Summer, where the grass crunches, the insects carry away small children and the armadillo's are, well, armadillos, is the reason why we have air conditioning.

Writing Fast to Avoid Rain

I'm sitting outside today, the scent of citronella wafting through the air, somewhat ineffectually, and writing. Due to a prompt from the ever nice Camille, I've rewritten the haiku (and made it standard 5, 7, 5 instead of the reverse 7, 5, 7 it was) and submitted it to Diet Soap (where she is editor). I don't think the rewrite made it as strong, but I figured maybe doing the standard thing might help. Anyway, here's hoping.

I'm also attempting to write hate mail to John Scalzi. See, he's got this contest going to win a new book, and if I'm anything, I'm a sucker for a contest to win books. Oh yes, there is vitriol to go around, literary and art references and disparagements of his parenthood. Good times.

Speaking of contests, all around fab guy Todd Wheeler would like to remind you all that the first deadline of his contest is TODAY! So get on it.

And now the booming in the distance, as well as the reduced light, fat drops of water and increased insect activity are all telling me it's time to go back inside. Hope you all are having fun today.

Those rascally poems

More poetry has occurred
Not as good as "What the Sea Sends"
Troubled birthing pains
In dire need of cosmetic and reconstructive surgery

So we don't send it out
We talk in loud whispers
Use Dr. Shoal's amazing freeze wand
to remove its warts

Then we send it through therapy
This is not the poem you seek
This is not the Scrimshaw Man
That is another poem.

It may never see light
as the premise is stolen
like a babe in the night
a changeling of sticks and moss left in crib

or

The poem you seek
Is not the one in hand now
Try back tomorrow

Oil, Oil Everywhere, We're Practically Swimming In Profits

Wow, look, some people are starting to talk sense (somewhat, but with inflated estimates) about domestic oil production. And they're using some numbers, but not explaining those numbers which takes us back to the old quote, "numbers don't lie, but liars sure use numbers."

So here's some fun stuff, from the US Government itself (that link can start you out on the journey). First of all, hey, look, Saudi Arabia is now the #2 oil importer to the US. They moved up fast in the past few years (they used to be #4).

If we can tap all the offshore drilling areas (includes East, West, and Gulf Coast) we could tap 18 Billion Barrels (total) of the black gold. Sounds impressive, no?

Well, currently we import around 5 Billion Barrels of oil a year. So let's say we could instantly get all that oil out, it would only last us a little over 3 years.

The President says ANWR could produce 10-12 billion barrels. Well, he's a bit off, 95% probability of about 6 billion barrels, only a 5% probability of 16 billion, leading to a mean of 10.3 billion barrels. Okay, but I'll point out, when you want to skew the numbers, only get two data points (earlier estimates, ie. 1980, came in with a mean of 2 billion barrels). So let's say we get lucky and get 10 billion barrels, doesn't mean crap because it's heavy oil, and our refineries (the majority of them) aren't built to handle it. Yeah, didn't see that one coming. So this oil would get sold to the Asia Rim.

Lastly we've been hearing about the Green River (and other) formations (about 800 billion barrels). I'll remind you that this is shale oil. It is only profitable if the price per barrel is over $70. Not a problem now. The technology to extract the oil is not proven, and the oil is mined (like they do in Canada, primer on tar sands, and for contrast a more critical analysis), not drilled. I wonder where they will put all that shale powder when they're done.

And now you know.

A Chilly Morning Drive - Publishing News

(I've typed and then deleted this post three times already. I guess I should just post it. Hope it all still makes sense.)

So, I'm driving into work on Friday, and this story comes on NPR, Publishers Push for New Rules on Unsold Book. In the story they talk about the crazy world of returns, and how expensive it's getting shipping books back and forth several times.

And then the clinker where the CEO of Barnes and Nobel talks about how the policy of returns is insane and that the industry should come up with a different idea. Like printing fewer titles.

Shazam! (insert ominous music here)

With fewer titles they can then focus on making all bestsellers. They don't have to ship, stock, mark-down, dust titles that won't sell more than a handful of books. B&N could standardize their catalog (centralized control of the market) more. "Everybody will buy these books because we're not going to offer them a choice," is what the CEO is saying.

Now, there are benefits to fewer titles. Maybe books would have longer shelf lives (which translates to better sales), the share of marketing money and drive would see each book get more, etc, etc.

However, fewer books means if the publisher doesn't think they can sell at least 20,000 units of your title, you're not going to get a contract. How many authors out there would be published with that standard? See how few hands were raised. Okay, of those left, how many of you would have made the cut with your first books published?

See why that ominous music is still playing.

The small press renaissance would be killed. New author development, already stifled, would be knifed. And, within a decade, the industry as we know it would be radically different. And I would predict, B&N which is the 800lb gorilla in the room (with buying and distribution) would be dead. Yes, what the CEO is asking for would lead to his own company's demise. Publishing relies on fresh blood. Sure, walk into the horror section and you can evenly divide the place by King/Koontz/Straub and Everybody Else. Look at the shelf space for SF/F and you can see the heavy weights taking up the shelf space. But all those other titles keep the whole ball of wax rolling along. Who knows who will be the next BNA? Hemingway wasn't Hemingway when he was writing for The Kansas City Star.

It's not all bad. Young and mid-list authors would be forced to develop web delivery of their product. Someone would figure out how to monetize it. Creation would still go on. The signal to noise ratio would worsen, but I think the markets would shake out. Print-on-demand may actually come into being, as consumers would be forced to this option. However, that means successful authors would have to become their own publishers (which is already happening with the loss of marketing money and with the direction of self-publishing). This, IMHO, is not a good thing.

With fewer titles B&N would see an immediate profit increase as overhead decreased. After a few years, though, customers would wander away in search of their next book fix. Sales would decline. B&N would look at the last time they made a profit (when they cut titles) and redo the actions (cut more titles). Eventually no one would really care to enter their stores except for textbooks (which are leading the way for electronic delivery). As they watch the top line dive for ground cover the B&N executives would decry the death of the printed page, all the while it would be thriving in niche markets and stores. If B&N didn't control so much of the distribution chain, I would say independent stores would reblossom. Unfortunately, with the direction to fewer titles being given by the 800lb gorilla, the supply of new titles would be choked off at the source.

This is the same death Apple nearly suffered as it focused on a smaller core audience, and then started sub-dividing that audience. Fortunately, Steve Jobs came back without nearly a decade of "focus on the core" being drummed into his head, and then the digital music revolution happened.

The best thing to happen would be to have the CEO deploy his golden parachute early.