I watch the ripples change their size
But never leave the stream
Of warm impermanence
And so the days float through my eyes
But still the days seem the same
And these children that you spit on
As they try to change their worlds
Are immune to your consultations
They're quite aware of what they're goin' through

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Crappy First Draft Done

Yes, the Pirate Story is out. 6350 words. Tomorrow I'll print out a hard copy and then start editing and revising. I know one section needs some help, and the ending goes into a little exposition about what is happening, but by then our main character is dead, so this is how the character that carries the ball to the end thinks.

Anyway. Tired. Forgot to mention I finished Farwell Summer last night. Got all new books at the library on the way home tonight. Started listening to The Prestige by Christopher Priest at work today.

12 comments:

Camille Alexa said...

Congrats on the draft.

I wrote a story today, too. It's not what I expected, but I like it. I'm venturing into your short-story land, here (just under 6,000--it's a first!)

Todd Wheeler said...

Nice work!

"..but by then our main character is dead, so this is how the character that carries the ball to the end thinks."

Is there a POV shift from MC to ball carrier or does the BC have the focus all along? Just curious.

Steve Buchheit said...

Congrats LBB. It's always better to be on the other end of the first draft.

Todd, the story POV goes from Limited 3rd Person on the POV (we get to know his thoughts, but not the thoughts of others), to an Omniescent POV (to show action away from the main character, we do not enter anybody else's head) and uses sections to switch back and forth (MC, Big Scene, MC, Big Scene, etc). Then our MC "blows shit up" killing himself and disabling the pirate ship before it gets to orbit. At that point, which ends with him reasserting his identity and pressing the button, I can't quite tell what happens to the ship by not switching POV. So I go into a very limited 3rd person (we focus on one character already introduced, but we don't get the interior dialog) and resolve the story (about 250 or less words at the end). I needed to show the ship crashing, and this seemed better than going back to the Omniescent voice (although, it's close).

Steve Buchheit said...

I might be using some of those terms wrong, it's early in the morning. not enough caffeine yet.

Todd Wheeler said...

Very interesting. Thanks for going into detail. I've been trying to work on using more/better POV's.

And of course, any story where the MC "blows shit up" has got to be good.

Steve Buchheit said...

Blowing shit up is always a good plot point, like a character walking in with a gun in hand.

POV should be which ever helps you tell the story. But it should have consistancy (there are story breaks each time POV shifts, also the "voice" of the writing changes to help emphasis the POV shift).

As a basic rule POV should be either the person doing something, or the person having stuff done unto them. Hopefully it's the same. But it shouldn't be the guy around the corner who hears something happening to someone else and that's all that happens. It could be the guy who sees what's happening, as long as they see many things happening (and hopefully participate somehow, probably by changing). Shadows are very effective in movies, but awfully boring in verse.

Camille Alexa said...

And of course, any story where the MC "blows shit up" has got to be good.

and

Blowing shit up is always a good plot point



**sighs, rolls eyes**

Steve Buchheit said...

Yeah, LBB, I hear ya. Boys, what can you do with us? Although, I'll note, you're also formenting the rumors of the tBuckell and eBear dust up over on Tobias' blog. :)

Camille Alexa said...

Steve,

you're also formenting the rumors of the tBuckell and eBear dust up over on Tobias' blog.

I am? How? (And what is 'formenting?')

Camille Alexa said...

Okay, I just went back and looked.

It wasn't obvious I was making a joke referencing Tobias' previous eBear v. tBuckell post?

Shite. O well.

I think I've just got to stay away from that blog altogether. It seems to get me in trouble.

Camille Alexa said...

Heyyyy,

I just re-read that again, and it seems to me that you're the original rabble-rouser, Steve!

j'accuse!

Steve Buchheit said...

LBB, he he he he. Yes, I am an instigator. I even have a card that says so.

And, sorry, I meant to say "fomenting."

I may have started it, but I think you're helping. :) It's all in fun and I think (or at least hope) they're (tBuckell and eBear) are taking it that way. Especially since I made a comment about people who weren't at Boskone giving eyewitness testimony.

Humor on these interweebie tubular thingies is much harder than in real life (lack of facial expressions).