Oh Lord, if you're up there, it's me, Steve. Please, let it be Newt Gingrich. Because that would be fucking hilarious. And it would pretty well secure Obama's reelection. I mean, we'd just let the Newt talk all he wants. Not to mention the self written attack ads. Oh, wait, that would be the evening news repeating what he said that day. I mean, the opposition research wouldn't have to do more than have a TiVO fired up.
Abut the only thing better is to keep up the rope line conversations with the Mittster.
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What, you don't think Gingrich could pull through in 21 hours of debates with Obama?
I mean literally, of course: seven three-hour Lincoln-Douglas style debates, I reckon Gingrich will be able to stick his feet so far down his own throat he'll be able to turn himself inside-out-back-around as he pulls himself out of his own asshole. That'll get him the all-critical Topologist's Union vote, which is less important for the actual votes than for the fact they'll be able to prove he mathematically won by describing the Electoral College results as some kind of four-dimensional doughnut. (BTW, am I the only one suspicious that topologists are always talking about toroids mainly because they like hanging out at the Krispy Kreme "talking shop" over several dozens of fresh-glazed? "I dunno, Bob, I like where you're going with those numbers, but it might help me 'visualize it better' if I 'modeled' it with one of those chocolate-covered-custard-filleds over there....")
Anyway, once the TU is done, everybody will agree with whatever they say because nobody will actually understand it but nobody will want to look stupid, and, anyway, the CGI represenations used on all the cable news networks will be too gorgeous to deny.
Maybe Newt knows what he's doing after all....
Naaaaaaaaah.
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the captcha, I kid you not: prograwk--defined as the "new direction" Fred Durst will attempt after getting snowed in for a week with nothing to do but listen to a bunch of old King Crimson records.
Actually what I expect to see more of is news organizations running the gaff tapes from his appearances and showing just what government was like when Newt was Speaker, not to mention exploring his sordid life, and then him claiming it's gotcha journalism my all the elitist liberals. You know, coming from the mouth of the history professor that was so good at history education that he got 1.6m from Freddie Mac for just being an historian, and that $0.5 million bill from Tiffany's was because he was supporting American jobs, and not having anyone laugh at him while he spews forth that crap like the Judge from The Wall. All because if this primary season has shown us nothing else it is to demonstrate that the right is severely irony impaired.
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