What if Kurzweil doesn't make it?
What if all the switches get stuck on destroy?
When the shuttle goes, we won't take it
When the final counter-measures are deployed
All we'll have is all this time

Monday, July 23, 2007

I got the blues up in me

Okay, today is one of those days that I'm questioning if I'm meant to be a writer. I know it'll pass. right at the moment, though, the gremlins are very loud and scoring points.

It would be easy to say it was the rejection this weekend, but that isn't it. It has more to do with only having one story in submission, two stories I need to do edits from critiques, one story I need to de-piratefy, and the search for another market. Then there is the thought that I'm not giving the council work the attention and energy it needs. Same with the home work things (chores, freelance, big projects, etc). I'm thinking of submitting to the "for the love" markets (ie. no pay except copies). Add on the preponderance off all the half finished stories and novels in progress, and it's weighting me down. It's dragging my enthusiasm with it.

I know this will pass (I hope before the weekend). The thing that made me smile, though, I spelled "preponderance" correctly the first try. :) Take that gremlins!

So I'm posting this as a service to other new writers out there. There are those days you feel like you're just shoveling manure from a sitting position, that you'll never make it, that you'd be better off knitting. Everybody gets those. This one is a pretty strong one for me. I'll make it through. I've been through this fire before.


Todd Wheeler said...

Try singing to your muse. Maybe she'll like this:

"Well, you know darlin I don't mind,
I don't mind anything just to be with you
Well, you know we're still havin a good time,
even if I'm sad and blue "w

Todd Wheeler said...

Upon reflection, perhaps that didn't come out right. I just meant though we authors get the blues, we persevere regardless.

Camille Alexa said...

I'm laughing at Todd Wheeler, Steve, not at you.

Steve Buchheit said...

thanks, Todd. I do play music for my muse. Sometimes to get her to talk, sometimes to keep her busy while I'm trying to type.

My favorite muse song for a long time has been Susan Werner's "Courting the Muse." Mine has gone away, and I've gotten her back. So this song works for me a lot.

But, yeah, we perserver. I've started the back to front edit on DLG. After a bit I did get tired, which is strange. I can feel there's a turn there. I'm not at that point, yet. Just when I think I'm close something else comes along to knock me off track.

This weekend is Confluence. I plan on having a really fun time.

Camille Alexa said...

Have a good time at Confluence. And do persevere.

Anonymous said...

Avast ye, self-doubt!

Steve Buchheit said...

I'm putting it to the spike, Mer.

Camille, work is insane, but I've not adopted the attitude, "I'm leaving at noon, you want me to leave quickly on Thursday (probably 2 hours OT). Not my fault that things aren't done."