I watch the ripples change their size
But never leave the stream
Of warm impermanence
And so the days float through my eyes
But still the days seem the same
And these children that you spit on
As they try to change their worlds
Are immune to your consultations
They're quite aware of what they're goin' through

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Joe the 'tard

So, Joe the Plumber has a website and a movement. Pity he's a wonk. Could have used him eight years ago when the Republican Party standard bearer GW decided to trash our country. But of course, this isn't what Joe is really about anyway, protecting freedoms. What he's about is hate and sour grapes. He's a sore loser and he has plenty of company. He's going to keep watch? Well, Joe, you're eight years to late to the game. Thanks for closing the door once the horses have all run out. Fucktard.

Yes, after the Bush Administration decided the best way to fight against the terrorists who "hate us because of our freedoms" wasn't killing them but denying them their objective by removing our freedoms, you decide to get into the game. I know you think GW was just "protecting us" but he really hasn't. Instead, they've plundered our economy and treasury just as they plundered our freedoms and world-wide good will. Glad to see you're also trying to get some of that money.

Yes, Joe, you are an ignorant ass. I know you value talking the truth, so there it is. Everybody, including the McCain campaign economists, tell you that your dreams of owning the plumbing business you worked for (a dream I'm assuming you've abandoned now) would work better under an Obama Administration, and you doggedly cling to your preconceived notions that you would be worse off. Good to know that insightful advice from knowledgeable people in the field doesn't sway you. You fit perfectly in the modern conservative movement.

You are also a publicity seeking twit. Yeah, just try and defend yourself. I'm waiting. Maybe you could make another trip to the NYC to do the talk show circuit to tell me how I'm wrong. Maybe you'll sign your (hastily ghost-written) book to me to that effect. Probably you have a very insightful commentary behind your subscription based website that proves me wrong. I doubt it.

The people who are propping you up will abandon you just as quickly when the national media is through with their infatuation with you. Which should be sometime next month. Instead of "keeping it real" you opted to cash-in (I hope your plans include the cash-out). Yes, once you have that really tough interview (I mean, eventually you'll have to move beyond Fox) and the investigations start, your star will dim.

You're from the Toledo area. IIRC that's the same place that a few years ago a teenager stole his mother's credit card numbers to give his girlfriend breast enhancement surgery so she could be an adult movie star. Good to know you're continuing to uphold the same high standards.


Stewart Sternberg (half of L.P. Styles) said...

You know, I wanted to make political statements all year long, but chose a while back to refrain from any political writing.
That being said, I have difficulty with Joe's celebrity. Let's face it, there is something false about the guy, something manufactured. I don't begrudge him making the most of his newfound celebrity, but really...what is his background, what is his education, what is his experience to stand forward and make such political statements, if they are indeed his own and not being written for him.

Don't get me wrong. I have always advocated for the empowerment of the proletariat, but I don't think Joe qualifies. There is something false about him. I think he will fade from the landscape, and become a strange footnote in some text that analyzes the election of the first African American president.

Steve Buchheit said...

Stewart, I agree. He first rang false for me from the overt use in the debate. Then as he made appearances, it sealed my conviction that he's a tool. That he's trying to ride the gravy train seems consistent with my impression. There's a difference between those that are genuine folk who seize the moment to advocate and those who grab the limelight in an astroturf kind of way, and those that are put forward as false symbols. Joe rings of the later two. At least to me.

Nathan said...

Every thing about that web site is just a "cashing in" attempt. Based solely on the few interviews I saw him give, I seriously doubt he's even the one writing the blog, much less the book.

The only thing I think he wrote on the site is the caption for one of the videos on the "Joe the Reporter" page: Joe's asks Obama a question

Yup, I believe that's his writing.

Nathan said...

OK, I got curious and started running around the intertoobs. The sponsors of Joe's blog are Visuplay Creative Design Group (Interactive Marketing. Advertising and Disign) who presumably built the website and Pearl Gate Publishing Company.

Pearl Gate's store lists two books available...Joe's in December and a book called Things Forgotten by Thomas Tobback. Well, Mr. Tobback also appears to be Pearl Gate Publishing.

Things Forgotten is a novel in which a Bronx cop goes through a trauma and wakes up in Canaan just as the Israelites are about to arrive from their 40 year trek in the desert.

According to Huffington Post, Tabback is the "co-writer" of Joe's upcoming book.

There's a free membership to Joe's site that allows you onto the forums and I'm tempted to sign up and find out what their saying to each other. There also appear to be some parts of the forum that you can't access unless you sign up for the paid membership.

Janiece said...

it sealed my conviction that he's a tool.


Damn straight.

Jim Wright said...

Joe the Plumber, the Paris Hilton of Politics. Gah, his site makes me gag.

Yeah, what a tool.

Jim Wright said...

Welcome to SecureOurDream.com, where you can become a foot-soldier in the fight to protect and defend our American Dream. On November 4th, the American electorate decided that Barack Obama should be our 44th president. We wish him all of God’s blessings of wisdom and judgment for a successful and fruitful term of office. However, we would like to remind him and all of our elected officials that they hold office to serve the American people. May they hearken to our voice if ever we feel our basic freedoms are being threatened, for it will be loud and clear. We will be watching. We will be listening. Together, we can and will hold them accountable.

There's just so many goddamned things wrong with that paragraph.

Foot soldier? And who's America Dream is this? Yeah, pleeeuze.

Nathan said...


didn't you know that only God-fearing 'Publicans are allowed to threaten our basic freedoms? If a 'Publican takes a freedom away, trust us, it's one you didn't need anyway.

Steve Buchheit said...

Nathan, yeah, he went the self-published route (not exactly a surprise) and if he had anything to do with the writing of the book, I'd be surprised. I personally like to talk about myself in the third person, but that's only when I'm messing with people.

Thanks Janice, glad I can add to the humor of your day. I'm still trying to decide if he's one of those strap wrenches or the novelty gavel Mayor Quimby had to use this past week on the Simpsons because of Springfield's economic crisis. I'm leaning toward the gavel.

Jim, he's only a foot soldier if he can continue to ride in the air conditioned jeeps (those AF jokes just never get old). If he had to hoof it or do the heavy lifting, I'm sure he'd be gone.

The more the conservative blather the more I retell the quote from Oh Brother, "The people seem to like that reform, Daddy, maybe we ought to get us some." And the implied threat of Joe's statement just set me off to no end.

And what Nathan said. Word.

Random Michelle K said...

I think Joe the Plumber needs to have a movement.

A huge movement. That might help his shit to brains ratio.

Steve Buchheit said...

Random Michelle K, that just put a smile on my face.

Eric said...

I liked the whole "It's about We The People... not we the Government."

Because, you know, in a democratic republic with near-universal suffrage for adults and few requirements for holding public office, there's this cast-iron distinction between the People and the government.

More seriously, I never understood that attitude among some Americans--we are our own government in a number of senses. At some point, bitching about government becomes a matter of either laziness or confusion about how our society is constituted. Probably both.

Then again, Joe is a pretty confused guy. He thought his boss' plumbing business was worth a quarter of a million and that he was going to be able to afford to buy a business with his helper's salary (of course, he's not going to be able to buy it at what it's actually worth, either).

But we can give him this much: Joe the P. is that uniquely American development, the American Celebrity. The American Celebrity isn't famous for being smart, or productive, or talented--he's famous for being famous. Joe is kind of the American dream, then.

Yeah. And then we wonder why people in foreign countries hate us. Oh well.

Nathan said...

My curiosity was killing me. I registered (the free version) so I could look at the forums.

1. so far they have 436 members.
2. They are all convinced the election was stolen by voter fraud.
3. There's some serious Christian mojo goin' on over there.

My head hurts after 10 minutes of browsing. I'll look more tomorrow and update you all.

Steve Buchheit said...

Eric, I think it's an outgrowth of the outsider/lonewolf philosophy and latent conspiracy theory. That they'll never be a part of the government or paid attention to because "the powers that be" don't have their interests in mind. But yeah, Joe is a creation of unintended celebrity. So far, though, he's only shown he is a one trick pony.

Thanks for the recon, Nathan. It doesn't surprise me that there's both the heavy Christian aspect (I'm sure with a heavy dose of millennialism and "end times" philosophy along with the "we woz robbed." There's a distinct group of people who feel not so much that they were priveledged (ask them directly and they'll deny they had any such thing) and that the world has turned against them, sort of a zero-sum philosophy of politics and achievement. Pretty soon I expect to hear about how Obama is the "affirmative action" President. That he didn't deserve it, it was handed to him.