Listening to one of the original Ray Harryhausen monster flicks while I finish editing my resume (which, IMHO, now totally kicks the ass of the other resumes), and the snark-o-meter keeps kicking off in my head. See, since I'm not actually watching it, only hearing it, the movie is exceedingly more campy than it would be otherwise. There's the general pseudo-scientific sounding dialog and narration added to the pseudo-military sounding dialog and the prerequisite monster roars, crashes, "Great Scott!"s and everything else.
Here are some gems, and my own snark flavored mental droppings.
"Bullets and missiles don't seem to affect it." Well, of course not. It's prehistoric. They didn't have gunpowder back when it was supposed to have lived.
"Be careful, wounded the creature is probably twice as dangerous as it was." Aw, thanks Doc. Think you could have fucking told us that before we tried to blow its arms off?
"Oh, and it's blood is probably poisonous on contact." Somebody shoot this damn professor and get me somebody who can help me defeat this thing!
So the first resume is rewritten. Why do I have such a problem with selling myself? Oh yeah, I have scruples and was raised to be humble (it shows, doesn't it). I went to the Ohio Jobs local office yesterday for a seminar on resume writing and learned a whole lot. I can't use all of it (such as, if I only include the last 10-15 years of employment history, I'm actually including nearly 20 years because of my longevity in positions). I did drop some of the older work, and the places I worked at for a few months, and I dropped the "gee, I'm freelancing" section (that one I always kept wondering about, I mean it says I'm a go getter, and that I can do lots of other things, and I'm keeping current, but then I think it works against me in the "oh well, he's got his own income stream going or he'll compete against me"). I changed around the bullet points from things I did or was responsible for (even though I framed them as how good I was), and only used bullet points of things I should have gotten awards for (and some of the things I did get awards for). This resume is the "so, you want a designer, eh?" resume. I still need to do the "there aren't any jobs in the design field, so I'm looking for something else, see what a special snowflake I am?" resume. Which will probably be tomorrow. And then I really need to update the ol' website adding in all the CSS crap I can throw at it (because that's what people want to see - well, that and Flash).
Plus, you know, critiquing one novel, rewriting my own, critiquing some short stories, rewriting my own, and reading for the novel workshop coming up. That, and since the ice is out, maybe working in the yard. And keeping the house up. And that whole councilman thing.
Was talking with someone about maybe volunteering at the hospital as a way to get into a full time position there (local hospital has a great education benefit, well, that and medical). She said it was a great way to fill the time if you're not doing anything. I just smiled at her.
So, what have you all been up to?