So, this story has been coming out of order. There was a piece that came the other day, and I didn't know where it fit (I thought it was part of the denumount). Then, as I'm about to get in the car tonight, the Muse does her gentle nudging thing and I realize it comes in the climax.
(draft zero)
Lighting struck the cane, which Jed was still holding to the sky. The charge surged through Ben and knocked him to the ground, giving up his grip on Jed. His mouth felt like he had been chewing foil and there was pain everywhere.
"Frankenstein had it wrong, Ben." There was a close clap of thunder. "You have to start with live tissue. Otherwise it's just cheap reanimation, the poor relative of actual immortality. Leave me now, Ben. It's your only chance," shouted Jed.
This is right before the final lightning strike(s) which sets the fields on fire, and Jed disappears. Leaving Ben at the bottom of the hillock suffering from having be struck (although, he gains some benefit from it). And I like that Jed calls Frankenstein a punter.
2 comments:
I like it!
thanks Matt.
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