It was THIS big - how I spent my long weekend

Okay, so 4mm may not seem so big, but it is when it's a crystal trying to pass through the ureter. In fact it's only 1mm short of seriously talking about surgery. So yes, Steve has a kidney stone. I don't know who got it for me, but once I find out I'm going to send them a nice thank you beating.

The pain woke me up at around 5:30, after we didn't get in until after midnight the night before (visiting Mom). The pain gripped along my left back, right on top of the kidney. My first thought was I was having a reaction to Splenda (Mom likes to cook with Splenda now). After going to the bathroom, I was able to find a position where I wasn't in much pain and went back to sleep. Until around 6:30, when the pain woke me up again. This time I thought it was gas. The pain had increased, and felt a little like bloating. It took a little longer, but I found a position that didn't hurt so much and felt back asleep. Then it was 7 when the pain got me again. All this time I couldn't pass any gas or have a bowl movement. So I tried eating a little breakfast of mini-wheats, which usually helps me go to the bathroom, still thinking it was just a gas attack. Continue this cycle until 11 when I couldn't sleep any more, and I tried eating the left over fruit salad and let Bette know things just weren't working all that well. We tried some beano and looked to see if we had a left over enema from when Isis needed them. A little while later and the fruit salad came back up. And just when I thought that might help, the real pain began. The kind of pain that makes it hard to breath. Where you move, not because you want to, but on the vain hope that some position, somehow, would lessen it. Nothing did.

I've experienced pain before. Severe cramping diarrhea as a reaction to the metformin. Shattering my left fibula requiring 14 screws and a plate to put it back together, four surgeries to make it work. This one set a new pain level 10 for me. I could barely walk, had difficulty thinking. Bette suggested I try some of the local stores for an enema, ad that's when I let her know that I didn't think I could drive. I'm not sure she believed me. Then I told her I had thrown up the fruit salad. That's when she asked me if I wanted to go to the emergency room. Frankly, I didn't think I could make it. This was a little past noon.

So Bette drove me to the hospital through Memorial Day traffic, slow pokes and Amish buggies. Every jolt hurt worse than the last. I almost didn't make it. This was now almost eight hours after the attack had begun. They put me in a wheel chair before I fell down and rushed me back in to a room. I could barely open my eyes the pain was so great at this point. My only good part of this was I could feel them putting in the stint for the IV. If I could feel that pain, that I wasn't to bad off.

My Grandfather has appendicitis. They operated on him on his mother's kitchen table, removing his appendix, without anesthesia or sterilization. So, as the pain migrated to the front of my stomach, that was a possibility in my head.

When I explained the pain, where it was, how it started, what we tried, the emergency room quickly came to the diagnosis that I had kidney stones. Had I ever had them before? No. Family history? Not that I am aware of. Have you been able to urinate? Yes. Well, pee into this urinal. Umm, I can't right at the moment (well, with trying to force a bowl movement, I had pretty much expunged everything from me. Well, with the IV fully open, that wouldn't be a problem for long. And they added in a few extra niceties to help with pain and nausea.

The blood tests came back normal, except for kidney function, which was a bit high. Still no pee in the urinal, so off to the CAT scan for me. But first, would you like some morphine? Why, yes I would, thank you very much. The orderly wheels me down the hallway, and with the lightheadedness of the morphine, it's kinda fun watching the ceiling tiles skim by. But the orderly removes the urinal form the bed and leaves me there to wait my turn in line for the CAT. I start having images of me fountaining while in the machine. Joy. So for the past half hour I had been thinking of waterfalls, rivers rushing by, rain storms, etc. And now I have to hold it until I get back to the room. And still we wait for the room. Finally we make it in.

Have you ever been in a CAT scan? You have to stretch out, hands over head, and go through breathing exercises. Something not a lot of fun when you have to pee from nearly a full bag of ringers solution. Fortunately I make it though without springing a leak and am eventually wheeled back to the room, where I was finally able to use the urinal. And my pee is somewhat greenish yellow. That can't be good.

Well, the end result is yes, there's blood in the urine, and the CAT scan showed a 4mm kidney stone trying to work it's way down to the bladder. I had another boost of morphine, and visits from the PA and the doctor. The guy next door goes blue line, and they are able to bring him back. I feel a little stupid about being in the emergency room (the pain killers masking the memory of how bad the pain was). The nurse and the PA assure me that 3-5mm kidney stones can feel as bad (or worse) than child birth (at 5mm they start discussing surgery, at 4mm they said a second trip to the ER wasn't out of the realm of possibility). They set me up with a prescription for flomax (to help pee), ibuprofen to help open the ureter, and percoset for the pain, a filter I need to pee through and a specimen bottle to hold the stone , and a referral to a urologist to see if these stones are preventable (if I can capture it) and for follow up. We're back home six-hours later, finally able to have some food, wishing I had accepted that last morphine injection. So I take my meds and now I feel a bit goofy. I don't know if I'm going to be able to drive this way tomorrow.

So, for a while, Steve is going to be in pain. I'm sure there's a few hundred typos I didn't catch, but until I get my head back, that's the way it's gonna-haveta-be. I'm going to go for a lie down.

I had a much better post planned for Memorial Day, but I can't do that level of writing right at the moment. Sorry.