In case you were wondering

Dear Universe,

Yes I did have a fun time this weekend. I had a great time with friends. Yes, I didn't go for the cheapest thing on the menu and I had two beers each night instead of one.

You can cut this shit out right now, though. When I asked a coworker, "So, is it me or is it crazy today." She responded, "Nope, it's more like fucking crazy."

I do not like being driven to stress eat and hearing myself yell inside my head, "Don't do it," as I pick up the jalapeno potato chips in the snack room. Or the thoughts of, "Damn, I need another beer today." Cut it out, I say.

Me

The Universe Strikes Back

The power adapter for my ancient laptop just failed. Fortunately I can still get a replacement, now on the cheap. So I bought two. Just in case.

I have a lot of things backed up, but not everything. So, the book and writings are backed up, but I don't have a copy of my submission files or synopsis. Sigh.

We'll do a complete backup once the adapters arrive. Also. Ight try to jerryrig something in the mean time.

What the Universe Wants

Like yesterday, sometimes I complain to the Universe about what it's trying to do to me. There's several tricks the Universe plays. Like when I buy something nice for myself (ie. not something that is absolutely needed, typically more expensive that $25, and/or could be purchased to make my life easier - an example is I need new glasses) the Universe sends something that either 1) costs a whole lot more money and needs to be done (ie. car/home repair or something health related) or 2) bad news of some sort (like being informed that an employee has resigned, or needs to be fired, and I need to hire in the next person - although, ha ha, Universe, I don't do that anymore :: gives the Universe a raspberry ::).

The Universe also has this habit of trying to distract me from things I like to do.

Here's an example. I've listened to the Writing Excuses episode discussing the "Hollywood Formula" with Lou Anders a few times (episode 6:18, 10-02-2011). This morning I wanted to listen to it again and take notes (as this will help me keep the lesson in my head). I started trying to do this at 8:30am (I listen to podcasts and audiobooks while working, which is why sometimes detailed things in the audio get lost as I focus in on actual work, not what I'm listening to). Since then I've had 5 phone calls, had to go to someone's office twice, was interrupted in person three times, three IM conversations, and a few other things. The podcast is 20 minutes long. I've gotten 2 minutes in with all the distractions.

Understand I can go for weeks at a time without a phone call. The only times I normally go to someone's office is for information I need (instead of them calling me to their office). While I do get interrupted in person several times a day (ie. people coming to my cubicle), it's normally first thing when I get in, near noon, 3pm, or end of day. The IMing and email is ongoing, but much of it wasn't really about me, but other people's crisis (and other things).

I can hear you asking the question, "So, Steve, just how did you get time to write this post, then?" That's because this last time I came back to my desk, I didn't put my headset on. I didn't try to restart the podcast. That is, I'm not doing the thing I want to do to improve my writing (the Universe can be a bitch about my writing times and attention). So, because of that, it's now been the longest stretch of time today where I haven't been interrupted (about 10 minutes).

This is what I'm talking about.

Update in the 10 minutes after this post, I've had 8 emails, 2 immediate requests for help and 1 new project (which will bump back all the other projects). Because the Universe figured out I also like blogging.

Update 2 In the past 5 minutes of restarting note taking, 8 emails, one of which needs me to "call (someone) right now to solve problem." Which I'm about to do.

Update 3 It's now 2:20pm, finally finished the 20 minute podcast taking notes (I had to rewind a few times).

Bad Script Writing

Just an odd thought while watching a rerun of the Daily Show.

First we had Bernie Madoff running a ponzi scheme and making off with his investors' money. Madoff? Really? If you wrote this it would be an an example of bad character representation. At the very least a whimsical nod to morality plays.

And then we have MF Global. Really? MF Global? Come on.

Whomever is writing this script, they really suck at names. Get a baby-name book for crying out loud. Try your local cemetery. Do something so these characters' jobs in this scripts aren't telegraphed so much.

Doctor, Doctor help me please, I know you'll understand

I think I've mentioned before about how the universe conspires against me to keep me from 1) doing things I want and 2) keep me from writing. Just when things are going well, monkey wrenches drop from the clear blue sky.

Example #4397
I think I've mentioned that I'm going to a writers retreat this weekend. I'm really excited about that.

At Monday's Micro class, our prof let drop that we have a lab quiz on Monday, and that we should know the lab book text on the 3 labs we've done forward and backward. Not just what we did and why, he basically wants us to memorize the text. And then, to just add fun to it, after telling us on the first day that the text book wasn't necessary as the test would only have what was in his notes, he said we should read Chapter 2 and know the material because he wasn't going to cover it (we need to know it for tonight's class, and for the test in 2 weeks). Fortunately Chapter 2 was review of cell bio.

Last night was council meeting. All through it I cringed (inside) just waiting for some new shoe to drop. Fortunately nothing happened.

I've also been fearing some freelance stuff. There's a big sale for one client this weekend that he was saying he may need work completed. Phoned him Monday with a "Hey, haven't heard from you lately, what's happening" call. Fortunately there's nothing else he needs.

So then I've been worrying that a newsletter from another client would drop on me. Now, a newsletter would be difficult, but I could handle it. Unless it came in tomorrow. But that's not what that client brought me today. Nope. He brought me an ad book that is normally done in the summer, but this year the event is in October. It's about 24 pages or so, but this year they've almost doubled their ad sales. Oh, and did I forget to mention this needs to be finished printing by the 30th. And I've got about 80 scans to do, not to mention redoing artwork for people who have no idea how to create finished/production ready art (oh, and they consistently forget to mention what the book sizes are, so everybody makes up their own ad sizes).

Margle!

I'm still going to the retreat, but I'm not going to be able to rest up before hand. For those long time readers, you may remember something similar when I went to Viable Paradise. I spent that week mostly in a sleep deprived fog. All my memories of that week are fuzzy on the edges (and in most of the middles too).

Day One

This morning it felt a little weird to not be going into work. When did I become that guy? I didn't get up early. Instead I let myself sleep in.

On the plus side, last night I need a lot fewer pain meds. So there's that. Here's hoping I'm on the road to mending. That would seriously be a good thing.

Today a client called needing a quick logo email. I called him back saying I sent it out. He told me he had lent out my card to several people recently. I asked if he needed an apprentice cabinet maker. We joked a little.

So maybe a little freelance work might come my way. Of course, it's because I tried to pull a double recursive Murphy's Law by focusing on freelancing this year in a stealth attempt to have another good writing year. But as we all know, Murphy's Law isn't recursive.

I made a mistake by not calling the other company today. I'll need to rectify that tomorrow.

I did spend part of today making progress on critiquing a manuscript that I promised back a few months ago.

Still feeling out of sorts. Hopefully I won't get used to that.

War and rumors of war

Okay, so here's what happened. For the past few weeks there had been plenty of closed door meetings. Plenty of late evening closed door meetings. Rumors were flying. The pace of work on the large presses had slowed.

And then the big meeting on Friday where they announced the bank had foreclosed, and they were shuttering the business. A rival company had purchased some of the assets and would be hiring some people back to handle the client's work. We were to stop, pack up, and leave the office. One more paycheck, all benefits end on the 31st. The boss took me aside as I was about to leave and said I should apply to the new company.

So that's what happened on Friday.

Spent Friday night canceling doctor's appointments. Not like without healthcare and not a firm commitment of employment that I could afford the tests and subsequent appointments. Then I updated my personal resume and attempted to send the resume to the email published on the new company's website. Several bounce backs later and I sent it to their general email address. Today I also faxed it to them, just in case.

A quick look at various job sites show poor pickins. Need to get registered with the unemployment office and the various temp agencies. Also need to put my head on straight.

Right now I'm feeling a little inertia. A sluggish start to a job search isn't what's needed. Fighting to keep positive, struggling with the thoughts of putting to much hope into getting a job with the new company.

On the plus side is that I might be able to focus on writing. For me, I'll still need a day job, so just focusing on writing isn't going to be practical. And finding a job is best done when it's given the attention, devotion, and time as a full time job.

What the Computer Screen Said

Went through the MRI yesterday afternoon. I spent a total of about 35 minutes crammed into the orifice of the machine. Even though it was the open MRI, there wasn't all that much space (mostly open on the sides, not so much top to bottom). First you have to answer lots of questions to determine if you have any metal in or on your body that may cause the machine to spark or do damage as the magnets go thumping around you. And then you remove anything that a strong magnet might effect, like credit cards and such. Fortunately we had a proto MRI when I was going to Akron, in the basement of our computer department. Several times a month they would fire that puppy up and anybody walking by the room was liable to have their watch fried. I knew to leave all of that stuff out in the car.

Then you lay on a slab, only slightly more comfortable than a metal table. They do have a pillow for your head. A small pillow. That doesn't really compensate for putting your head between a harness, which they add an extra chin piece after you're down. They did provide earphones and a choice of two radio stations. Because they were imaging my upper spine, the operator put a foam wedge under my legs which helped with the comfort. Then they give you a squeeze ball in case you panic. The operator reminds you that you're supposed to lay as still as possible, although normal breathing and swallowing is acceptable. And then they slide you in. That's when I closed my eyes and thought of England.

Well, no, I lie. Once the slab had stopped moving I did sneak a peak. The grey plastic roof was right there in front of me. No, really, probably not more than six inches away (and I think closer). Then we went through a series of starting moves. I selected which station I wanted to listen to (oldies rock, 'natch). And then a preliminary scan of about 30 seconds, so I could get use to the noise the machine makes.

And the machine makes noise. It makes several different kinds of noises. There's clanking and banging like someone is moving furniture, heavy furniture, just above your head. Then there's the ak-ak noise. This is like an AK-47 being fired just in front of you. That's not the loudest noise it makes, but it's the one I had to keep myself from flinching. I'm sure I lay there with little more movement than my breathing, but I swear each time that noise happened I must have squirmed a little. And finally, there's the noise like someone jackhammering right above you. No matter how loud I had them crank the music, it didn't block out those noises.

In the middle of it I did start panicking. I didn't squeeze the bulb, though. I worked through some mental imaging techniques. In my minds eye I convinced myself that the ceiling wasn't a few inches away, that I was surrounded by three feet of open space. It also helps that there's a speaker and mic nearby and the operator, or at least mine, would tell me just where we were in the sequence and what would happen next.

The longest scan duration was five and a half minutes. That one was almost all jackhammer sounds. The noise was so loud I could feel the pulses. Most scans sequences were two to four minutes.

In the end, I did open my eyes as the slab slid out of the machine. I didn't want not to do that. Because I knew I was moving out of the machine I did much better than I expected. Getting off the slab was the hardest part. Having lain on a hard surface that long, my shoulder didn't want to move. Much of my body didn't want to move and I had to convince it into motion.

Once out, they handed me a disk with the scan images and I headed home. I called my chiropractor to see if he wanted me to drop off the disk on my way home. He had the faxed report by then. There's some disk bulging, some reduced space between the C4-C7 area, and a few other things that slipped out of my head. As he said, no real red flags. He expects the orthopedic doctor to prescribe some industrial anti-inflammatories and that'll be it. Given what was on the fax, there wasn't anything unusual for someone my age.

How I'm going to hate that phrase, "for your age." When we had the x-ray, there were a few things, some spurs, some deterioration, etc. They were more progressed than normal, but within the acceptable range, "for my age." Sigh.

So here's hoping this pain goes away with the anti-inflammatory. Next I'll see what I can do to recondition my neck. There's probably not much, but I'm going to ask. I do not want to go through this again.

Concentrate and ask again

Today is the MRI. In the time slot I had originally planned on exiting I-90 to get onto I-80 on my west bound trek to Confusion, instead I'll have my head stuck into the Magic 8 Ball of modern technology. Like the oracle of Delphi, I'll wander into the cave of vapors and loud banging noises and see what the mystic mists send me across the firewire connection.

Better not tell you now

Of course, I won't know anything after the test. The operators of the machines are only allowed to say things like, "Well, yes, there is a heart in your chest." Not anything that might be construed as diagnostic. They might even be willing to tell you that the heart is beating and they're getting a good image, but not much more. Can you tell I've done the cardiac stress test with ultrasound?

Reply hazy, try again

At least I'll be in the open MRI. Open MRI's don't image as precisely, or as with as much detail as the tradition MRI, but I'm going to be spending on the order of about a half hour stuck inside this machine. I'd like not to feel my own breath reflected back at me from the ceiling. That and add in that I'm about 6' 3" and still around 300lbs, my suit jacket size was 58 long (and that was a while ago). So probably to fit into a regular MRI they'd have to butter my shoulders.

Ask again later

Then on Monday I have my appointment with the Orthopedic doctor and we'll see what they say. And hopefully they'll have a course of action that will alleviate this pain. When I was at the chiropractor last time he put me in traction which, while he was stretching my neck, actually felt pretty good. And it removed the pain from my shoulder and arm (except when I'd move to the edges of the range of motion). Of course, once I was off the machine and stood back up the pain returned. Darn gravity. I wish the Supreme Court would over turn that stare decisis bastard.

Cannot predict now

Hopefully the reply won't be, "Well, look at that, you really do have shit for brains." That would be the sad faced outcome.

Confusion - Not So Much

I suck. Last night was very bad and this morning isn't so good either. I really had been hoping to get into the orthopedic doctor this week (am still trying to). This morning, on the way into work, I sneezed and nearly went off the road.

So I'm not going to be able to see all my friends this weekend. Making the four hour drive into Detroit just isn't going to work if every bump I cross sends spasms of pain across my right shoulder (just thinking about I-80 right now sends shivers down my spine). Add in the inability to find a comfortable sleeping position and laying awake for a couple hours each night waiting for the over-the-counter pain meds to kick in and I'll be exhausted again by this weekend. Convensions normally drain me of any energy I have. So even if I could make it up there, I don't think I'd be able to make it back on Sunday. Driving cross-eyed, half dead, brain fuzzy, along a fairly straight strip of asphault, in approaching twighlight, probably not the best idea.

This really pisses me off. There were a lot of things going on that I wanted to be a part of this weekend, meeting up with the Haskell/Kletcha Clutch, a book launch party, seeing my friends from other convensions who were going to be at this one this year, meeting up with everybody I know and have met there (hell, I finally have a book for Karl Schroeder to autograph), hanging out with all of you all (hell, I know more people at this convention than I know from any other), meeting the twins, just all kinds of things and that's before we get to the actual programming of the con (which looks great, again), and the obligatory hanging-out in the bar (where excellent things have happened every year I've been there).

But really, I'm not fun to be around at the moment. Last night I was crabby at my wife for no real reason. Laughing actually hurts. As in serious pain. The drugs are making me woozy and scatter brained, I would probably be heading to the bed at 10pm instead of my usual 1-3am.

(redacted - long string of cursing and kicking of objects including small kittens)

Sorry everybody. Wish I could make the party, but don't think I can. (If a miracle occurs, I'll change my mind).

edit since I wrote this, I now have an orthopedic appointment on Monday instead of Thursday the 28th.

More on why I think we need an even larger overhaul of the healthcare industry

Okay, this post I've been working on for the past week in the moments when I didn't feel like ripping my arm off, ala the Black Knight in Monty Python and the Holy Grail, to end the pain. And now that I'm referred to an orthopedist for my pain and the first appointment I can get is on the 28th (or a week and a half away for those reading this later). I have one percocet left. I don't think it's going to make it. I'm taking enough tylenol on top of it that I'm concerned about the side effects (I already have the loose stool, next up, hole in stomach and possible heart attack!). And I can't see somebody for another week and a half? Tell me again how we have the best system in the world. Oh yeah, don't forget that at this point I'm down a few hundred and if we go through the whole MRI scenario, that will increase exponentially.

And then I'll have another pre-existing condition to boot.

The other night I had to play the alternate liaison to a local small government agency (actually, an NGO, but we have weird rules here in the US). And, as it is elsewhere, it was time for the health insurance renewal.

They run on an HSA (Healthcare Savings Account) that is set up this way. The first $250/500 a year is the patient's responsibility. After that they are reimbursed. Up to $2500/5000 is the responsibility of the "Savings" part of the deal (which the entity coughs up, pays through the insurance broker for an extra fee, I don't know if the employees contribute to that amount or not, but it doesn't matter for this example). And then anything over $2750/5500 the insurance covers at 100% (in network, our of network is a cost sharing, 60/40 if memory serves).

Okay, so we all have got that. Let's bring it down to just the individual and leave the spouse and family out of the numbers from now on. So, for the first $2750 the individual spends on healthcare that money comes from either the individual's own pocket or from the organization's saving plan set up in the name of the individual. Now, anything over that amount, that's when the insurance actually starts kicking in (not a cent beforehand, though).

We had all the data on the individuals, there's 8 of them, and what they spent (but not what on). One person spent nothing (or less than $250), one person met the $2750 out of pocket (but there was no figure for how much over they went), but overall each person averaged about $1200 still in their account (including the person who spent zero and the person who spent all of it). We're clear here, only one person would have received any moneys directly from the insurance policy.

For the eight employees the insurance cost per month was roughly $4500 (or $54,000 a year). Now, there are two spouses included and one family, so that brings the cost a little higher. And let me say here, that's not bad. Of course, that's a "high deductible" plan and the cost for the employer is higher as they're covering the $2500 per person savings plan (I'm pretty sure, but again, not fully sure it's not shared between the employer and employee).

How much do you think their insurance increased? Again, remember, only one person ended up using it (and while we didn't have any numbers on how much they used, there was no table talk of "well, they had some problems this year").

Did you guess 24%? Okay, well, since they increased the deductible to $3500, only 23.75%. So now they'll be over $5580 (lowest increase) per month for the insurance premiums (depending on the options, the could save as much at $4200 a year or least than one months premium, and that's by increasing their exposure by 150%).

So I asked for what's called "the experience." That's the number of how much was paid into the plan versus how much was paid out. The answer we got back from the broker was, "Normally they don't provide such numbers for a group as small as yours."

WTF. It's not like they have to wake up an accountant who dusts off their green shade and cracks the books with a pencil. Hey, how about we're your frickin' customer and we're demanding an account review. Are you telling me they didn't have this number ready when they decided to up the premium by 24%? If they didn't, I'm willing to call shenanigans. And if they did, hey, it's a frickin' copy paste function. They have keyboard shortcuts to help out with that.

Tell me again why this industry doesn't need an enema. Because, frankly, it needs flushed. Or at least that's what it smells like to me.

Seven Swans a-Swimming

Looks like it'll be a quiet New Year's for us. Bette isn't feeling well and has a temp, so our plans to go over to the neighbors fellowship, games and champaign are being adjusted to soup and a movie. It's better than getting everybody sick for the new year.

There's been quite a number of bloggers and news organizations doing wrap ups of the decade as well as the year, so I won't retread a lot of those discussions and arguments (they mostly fall into the Stephen Colbert's question of "So, is (insert politician or event name here) the best (whatever), or the bestest ever (whatever)"). Let me wrap up most of the decade saying that personally like the growth I went through, professionally it was a mixed bag, for the nation I had hoped we would be in a much different place by now. This past year's roller coaster began with reduced hours and discussion of layoffs. After 2008's resolution to focus on the writing, and then have my best year freelancing, with the prospect of being out of a day job I made a vow to focus on freelancing in 2009. Then I had my best year in writing and saw the freelance work dry up. So this year, 2010, I'm going to focus on... freelancing. Of course, Murphy's Law is not recursive, so maybe I should just make a promise to make a focus on what's working well.

My friend Mer decided to hold a novel critiquing workshop and wondered if I could participate. The Post-Rapture Comedy Romance was in no shape to even do a partial, and I had been banging my head against walls trying to get it to flow. I switched gears and resurrected a short story stub and started Bladesman (it always felt longer than a novella). The writing came out and the story flowed to the point that now I know I can write a novel in a year (sure, the first draft isn't done yet, but I actually have until February, and I'm hoping to be done next week at the latest). And that's with all the other distractions of the day and night jobs and exploring retraining for a medical related job. So if I can get a first draft out with all that, I can do more with only a day job (2 years and counting).

I rewrote the first few chapters and applied to Viable Paradise, which I was very surprised to get accepted. I did my second panelist gig. I had a poem accepted for publication this year. Some blog and twitter fic will be published in a book early this year. The only real disappointment I had with writing was not being able to attend the Hamster meetings as often as I would have liked. I also still haven't finished critiquing a friend's novel than I promised to have done by Halloween.

In the end, while the same person signs my check for the day thing, my old position is gone and I'm working in a different capacity. The night thing remained just as crazy as it had in 2008. I've improved my writing to the point where the peaks are going over the publishable water-line in the Bathtub Model of Publishing. The freelancing work which had added to the confusion in 2008 dried up in 2009. And I can see the end of the night thing (thanks to the citizens of Orwell approving the new charter). And I got out 68000+ words on the first draft of the novel.

It sucks that lots of my friends are still out of work. The economy hasn't improved enough for the second and third-tier businesses to start highering again. A third of the country lost their minds and wigged out, politically. A portion of thepolitical landscape came to the conclusion that if they're going down, they'll take the rest of us with them. I'm thankful for the extreme luck I had to keep a job. On the plus side we're no longer talking about when the recovery might start but when the recovery might start producing jobs.

So here's to 2009. Don't let the door slam you in the butt. And welcome to 2010. May it treat us all kinder than 2009 did. Here's hoping we see each other at the end of next year and get to think about how wonderful 2010 had been.

PSA

To my fellow NE Ohio Drivers,

It's called a light dusting of snow. It is not called "OMFG! We're All Gonna Die!" Now, tomorrow afternoon if it plays out according for forecasts, you have the right to panic. Today, not so much. You attention in this matter is greatly appreciated.

Your fellow commuter.

That's a way to spend the day

So, I had big plans for the day. I got up early (for a weekend) to get ahead of the curve.

But as you know, the universe has other plans. We have an outdoor (frost free) spigot in the garage and it decided it was going to leak. So we went out to find water on the garage floor and the strip of carpet we use in front of the door (so when we go out into the garage in the winter our little toe-sies don't freeze) was soaked. There went the day.

Now, it's done this before. Sometime when we use it a little grit gets in the valve and prevents it from closing. That wasn't the case this time. It seems that yesterday somebody banged into it. So I'm thinking cracked pipe or something in the stem. I did a quick google search and basically the way to repair the stem is to replace the whole damn spigot. Which means cutting and sweeting pipe. I've avoided that until now, but I guess I'll learn today.

Then I try to open the wall to see what I'm dealing with. The wall on the inside of the house is both wall-boarded over and behind the furnace. There's no room to even crawl back there. That means opening up the front side of the wall. Fortunately it's inside the garage, so it's not like I'm going to have an outside hole in the house.

I try my utility knife. No good. Then I try a wall-board saw. And I have trouble. After about half an hour with a funky stud sensor (yeah, I should get a better one now), I discover that most of the wall has wood behind it in weird places. I open up a few holes and discover I can't get close to the spigot line. Fortunately there's no water behind the wall.

That's when I realize I need professional help. Now this is the fourth time I've need plumbing help, and I've never gotten a recommendation form anybody I've asked. I must have rephrased my question because this time I get a recommendation, and a highly recommended recommendation. For somebody half and hour away. And someone who is very, very busy (which is a good sign). So I get on the waiting list (hopefully sometime this week is his expectation, but no promises), and the good advice about getting a hose cap to block off the leak.

What's left of the day includes cleaning the garage out, removing the wet stuff, mowing the lawn before the neighbor's party get too crowded (sorry Mike, I was going to get it done beforehand), and some small stuff. I needed to level the air-conditioner, which I didn't get done the way I planned, but it's stable and should be good until I can figure out how to do it properly (just a hint, even if they installer says, "Oh, no, you don't need to prepare a base, we've got this plastic thing that's work just a well," don't believe them. Prepare the site first, which I was going to do, but the installer convinced me not to, bastard). I reconditioned the stone base around the ramp to the shed. Experimented with the breaker bar to see if what I planned would work (yes it will, but since the party was still going on I didn't want to make all that noise). And then go through the food stores in the garage and get rid of what's beyond expiration. Well, Bette did that part. I helped with the compositing. Oh yeah, I also turned the compost piles.

After all that we didn't want to cook so we took the recycling out to the bins and had chinese in Middlefield.

Hopefully your day went better.

So you can rest, medicine.

Okay, everybody calm down and take a breather. The "swine flu" (H1N1) virus is not what the news media make it out to be. There are worse diseases out there.

Now, it does have the potential to be bad. One reason is the general panic mode. That person who sneezed next to you just now, more than likely has allergies than a flu. And even if they do have the flu, more than likely it's not the "swine flu." But everybody is going to freak whenever somebody has the sniffles. Even at the day thing the flu was all over our intranet.

Here's a clue, the flu is transmissible nearly as quickly as you get it (surface contact, ie. the person is picking up the same infection you have, not by virus your body has produced). Viral bodies produced by your system will be available in a few hours after the infection takes seat. However, it will take a few days before your infection becomes serious enough for you to notice it's affects. That means for a few days you'll be perfectly normal as you go about infecting others. The good news here is that the chance of infection from you is small at the beginning, however it's increasing with every hour. However, this means that by the person in the cubicle next to you is sneezing and feeling achy, you've had about a days worth of good exposure to the virus.

So what should you do? Wash your hands, frequently. When washing hands use soap (not anti-bacterial soap or Purell, real soap). Sing either the "Alphabet song" or a stanza of "Old McDonald" or the trial/headbanging section of "Bohemian Rhapsody" while washing your hands. This will make sure you wash your hands long enough (20 seconds to half a minute). Be careful of what you touch after you wash your hands. Do get the flu shot. Then get the yearly flu shot (if they don't roll them together, and they're is really no reason they shouldn't except for timing, most yearly flu shots include the three most probable infections you might face that year). Do get the booster after the New Year (your body will need to "see" the infection twice for full protection).

What should you look forward to. Well, the flu will appear to disappear over summer. There will be cases, but it'll drop off the radar of most news organization. Until summer turns to autumn and people start getting closer in enclosed places.

And just to put this into perspective. So far, less than 200 have died (as far as we know) worldwide. In an average flue season in the US, 36,000 people die because of the flu and complications from the flu. The difference, right now, is that there have been many victims who normally aren't considered high-risk of mortality from flu. So as the news goes on about how we're now at Stage 5, one stage lower than Pandemic (OMGZ!) you can put it all in comparison. Stage 5 doesn't mean much more than the same viral strain has shown up in several countries.

Keep washing your hands, if you're sick, stay home (do as I say, not as I do), and keep healthy. There's no reason to panic.

Kind of a beigey rider on a light-chestnut horse then

Tomorrow is zero hour. Well, actually, because of vacation scheduling, it's been pushed back, but tomorrow was intended to be the final hour. Two people from my department were on the chopping block, and I have lowest seniority. (insert ominous music here).

We had a meeting with the Union where we discussed various plans and we all got a print out of our retirement plans (I'm one year away from vestment in our National Plan, so I only qualify for the Inter-local Plan). All the options were laid out on the table. I had hoped a few people might see that their plans were much better than they thought. I think there was some of that, but do you know what the major factor was in their decision not to go?

The cost of health care. Once again, we're back to the cost of health care in the US. If we had actual national coverage, I think they would have had more volunteers than they would know what to do with. So not only have I had my wages stifled by heath care costs, I'm now boned in a whole new way.

Now the good news. One, several vacations had already been scheduled around the department, and we're a little short handed at the moment. So our deadline has been pushed back to the 24th, right before I turn 43. I have severance pay that I qualify for and the unemployment would probably be the best I could hope for. Ohio looks back past the just previous quarter calendar, and then averages your wages over the four quarters before that. So for me, until July, that would mean all of 2008, which wasn't my best year, but picks up all the time before 4 day weeks, and the first part of the year had some good overtime.

The second piece of good news is that we did have one volunteer. It was someone I had never even thought of as a possibility, but they're taking the opportunity to refocus. I wish them the best of luck.

The third piece of good news is that there have been (as I am lead to believe) several long conversations about my employment (I've heard this from several sources within the building, the first time I heard I was asked not to say anything, but now I think it's somewhat general knowledge in the plant). That the department is now down to one involuntary layoff gives the company options (because of Union Rules). Now, I'm sure they also didn't want to lose the person next up the chain of seniority, so I think they're pretty glad about dogging that bullet. But if they have a position open in the department in the next year, that would mean I would be the first to be called back (Right of Return).

Here's where the advice I've given everybody who has asked for it comes into play. In business, your reputation is the most important thing. I have a reputation for being a productive hard worker who picks up new things quickly, can work with minimum oversight, and produces quality work. All things that are valuable in the current work environment.

Nothing has been settled, it's all still up in the air, but I'm feeling a little better. My mood has lifted immensely. I've ordered new glasses and am thinking about other health care things that I was putting off. So not out of the woods yet, but there's daylight. Thanks for everybody who has been concerned and offering prayers and good thoughts. It's working.

Word Count Fail

Okay, so when I agreed to do the novel critique workshop I figured I could get 30-45,000 words out by the time of my extended deadline (and then finish before the event). And given my progress at the beginning, I was pretty confident I would make it. That I would get somewhere in the middle of the second act (story "feels" like it needs 90,000 words or so, a descent size for a first novel) was doable. And then the whole day thing went pear shaped. Currently I have 13500 words out and in at least first draft form (although not completely edited let alone scrubbed to the point that I would normally have a story critiqued). And I'm on my way to another 1500 or so words that I should have ready for tomorrow. So only 15,000 words, half my lower level (insert cussing and kicking dirt over home-plate and on the shoes of the umpire).

And as you can see my word count here (and an Genre Bender) has been lacking.

On other news, why is it with the online application processes I have to have a loggin and account with each employer's site, agree to their terms, and all that other stuff. Really gosh-darn-annoying people. This is like having to have an account to get basic information about companies that you've bought their stuff. I shouldn't have to register. I appreciate that you feel you need to have "security," but there is a point where the security works because you keep people from using whatever you're securing. Like you keep a stadium secure by not letting anybody in the gates.

Saturday Nerves

Tomorrow is the Union Meeting where I'll hopefully have a better idea just what's going to happen in a few weeks. On Thursday the boss gave me a pep talk. I'm going from paranoia to hope as I try and parse out what he was trying to tell me. Of course I'm making myself insane attempting to read the entrails of the conversation and seeing meaning where there probably isn't any. He could have just been being a good manager by trying to head me off from diving over a cliff.

So today I ruined my body raking up the sticks, sawdust and chips left by the tree people. Raking leaves is enough of a chore in my yard. Add twigs and ripping up sod and moss, well, it wasn't fun. I used some of the dirt/chips left from the stump grinding (the trees in front we had built flower beds around them) to fill in some low areas in the yard. I'm going to have to buy some grass seed this week and spread it around. I didn't get up all the leaves (I still have the side yards to do), but I gave some hope to my beleaguered lawn. I'm not looking forward to the first mowing. By mid-summer I'm going to need a new blade.

Spending the rest of the day getting in some blog catching up and adding to the word count. In the middle of chapter six. About to compromise the hacker. Our guy has found himself trapped in the hacker's computer room and will be doing some quick thinking really soon. Or at least that's the plan. He might just skewer the hacker. Never can tell with characters. The writing is a bit more fluid than when I started. Listening to all those hard-boiled detective stories must be wearing off. But then that means I need to redo the first few chapters. Oh well. Nobody said this would be easy.

Rollercoaster of something or other

This week has been up and down. I'm trying to see the path forward and have been unable to see it. This Sunday we have a Union meeting, things might be clearer after that.

I've been lobbied to beg for my job, but I haven't come up with an argument that convinces myself (if they haven't seen that it's leveled off, and the highs they're comparing to had the massive overtime in them). Until today talking with a coworker. They had a good angle that I'm going to try if I get the chance.

One of the main problems I have with arguing for my job is that I'd be screwing another coworker out of their job, and I don't think I'm that kind of guy. Okay, I'm pretty sure I'm not that guy. I don't have it bad, it could be a lot worse. But I'm not sure just how many months I can hold out. The best news I found was that I'll be eligible for the recovery plan help with COBRA premiums (we pay only 35%). We'll see.

I keep reminding myself that I need to keep positive. It appears the the economy (as relative to DJI Index and orders coming it) had hit bottom last week. Now if only it turns around fast enough. According to the news, durable goods orders have gone up, what was a parts oversupply in November has flipped, and there seems to be an actual plan that might have an actual effect on the economy in place. Here's hoping.

That clacking noise is the car going up the roller-coaster hill

On the way home tonight I debated this post. A lot. Still not sure about it. Finally I decided that I had promised to be as open as possible (I hope you all understand that I don't share everything) and this is something that will be major. And about those things I was going to be open about I was also going to be truthful. So there.

The day thing is still experiencing issues. edited decided I should be circumspect, somewhat end A future event that might happen will be dependent on seniority and I'm low man on the totem-pole in the way of seniority. We have a union meeting this weekend to discuss (I'm all perclumped, discuss amongst yourselves) options and various situations.

Right now I'm still in a little bit of denial. I'm also in the "gritty determination" stage.

If it does happen it'll break a streak I had. Each time this has happened before there had been a Bush in the White House and we were at war with Iraq. Granted we're still at war in a Iraq and experiencing the economy a Bush left us.

Of course it has sucked the wind out of the word-count sails. Tonight's bandwidth will be used on searches.