Viable Paradise starts in less than a week and my confidence has fled me. The gremlins laugh in their hollow caves. I'm not near finished, I have a friends novel I need to critique and haven't started, the vagaries of modern air travel (and what if I just get fed up with the TSA security theater, a distinct possibility), keeping it all on schedule. Not to mention the over scheduled nature of the day thing for the past two weeks (and promises of it continuing this week). I've started packing things so I won't forget them. And OMG, what have I done. I'll suck, I'll be an ass, something will go wrong or I'll sabotage myself. I guess Viable Paradise will be my Rubicon, once crossed there's no going back. I didn't figure to go back, but now it's a committed thing.
This is normal for me. It's a mixture of fear of the new, fear of spending so much mullah, fear of success, fear of failure. Right before a significant event I get all wiggy, need to make sure I've got all my t's dotted and i's crossed. Once we get jump light my brain will shift into gear and I'll do what I normally do and get the job done as best I can.
Deep breaths.
On the plus side, checking the hotel's information (the Island Inn) I see that WiFi is free now. Yippie. Back when I scheduled it would be $50 for the week. The money gods smile fortune upon me. That may cover the lobster rolls I'll eat next week. Also it may mean I might be able to blog during the week. I don't know what the rules are about blogging the workshop, but at least I can do being on the Island.
Man, I've missed food on the east coast; restaurants you can find by the scent, real kosher-deli-garlic pickles... hogies? Do they have hogies on the Vineyard? Gods I hope so, it's been so long since I've had a real one (Subway and Jersey Subs just don't have it).
Am I going to be able to get everything done that week? I'm a slow writer and slow reader. We don't have our critique material and won't until we get to the island. I've already put a red pen in my bag. I'm backing up the laptop as we type (iPods are so versatile). Until then I have two committee meetings this week, I'll need to mow the lawn (it rained this weekend, which is good cause we needed it, but left the yard too wet to mow or do much work), finish packing, write reports, work early so I can leave early on Friday, help Bette get the house ready (I hope it doesn't dip into freezing while we're gone). I didn't get much reading of the instructors done (and I doubt anymore will happen this week). Also wanted to review The Tempest as I've heard that's what we read on Tuesday night. I don't think I've read it more than once back in college, and I've never seen it acted. And I never got to meet the Ferret (a fellow Hamster, jokes all around) before going there. So, I'll meet the other guy from my writing group, partner in arms, on the island.
So we spent the weekend cleaning and preparing. Didn't get much writing done since last night (and I only got about 500 words out all weekend). Prepared a cheat sheet for the trip (times, numbers, etc). Getting the camera batteries in shape (have a brand new one as a spare), so drain them out, charge them up, drain them out, etc. Should also condition the laptop battery and reset the power manager.
So, expect light blogging for the next two weeks (now watch, I'll post three times a day, that's the way these things go).
Deep breaths.
10 comments:
Hot damn, you sound like you're ready for some serious exhileration!
Here's a paper bag, breathe slowly.
Cassie
It's going to be AWESOME, Steve. And you will have tons to tell us at Retreat!
Hey, at least you haven't had dreams of getting you're work critiqued while being naked. That said, I'm sure you'll do fine and learn a lot from the "genial encouragement" from Scalzi and others.
The paradox is that you'll learn more about your writing by critting others than listening to the crits of your work. So don't worry about it when the blood starts flowing -- it doesn't matter, you'll make more. (grin)
Dr. Phil
Triage. Leave everything that can wait until after you get back.
And they are called 'Subs' here in MA. Unless they do something weird out on the island.
Deep breaths! And, really, don't stress about *The Tempest* or what you have or haven't finished writing or what you have to read and crit. Trying to be prepared for the week is like trying to stop the ocean. Waves. Let it wash over you in waves.
Rick, I'm girding my loins as we speak.
Cassie, I'll need that bag as we approach the weekend. Thanks.
Mer, I hope two weeks is enough recuperation time. And I'll try and be my most effusive.
Vince, no, those are old hat. What's worse are the dreams of my nakedness being critiqued. What? Did I say that out loud. "And then my Mother, disguised as an East German judge gave me a 4.6. Must have been the dismount."
Dr. Phil, oh yes. I've already noticed that with the Hamsters. I've learned more form watching other professionals critique each other than I have by critiquing others. Which is still way more than I ever learned by being critiqued myself. And I've been through the worst critiques anybody could get and I'm still standing. Nobody there knows me well enough to hit deep.
Todd, I'm trying to let go (I might not get the lawn mowed). And subs (super sandwiches) just aren't hoagies (anti-pasta salad on a hard-crust bun). I thinking it's mostly a Philly/S. Jersey thing. Oh, and it'll be fun meeting you in person. Even more fun than getting to eat "real food" again.
Hi, Tiffani. I know I need to let go and trust the universe more. I always feel like I'm riding the avalanche more than being on the beach. But then, and congrats BTW, Clarion would be even more like that. I only have to make it through one week. And I love the car icon on your LJ. Rock 'n Roll HoF?
I thought that subs are called "grinders" in New England. At least that's what they were frequently called in RI, when I lived there... Have fun at VP.
nuerondoc, there's a bunch of names for subs, but a hoagie is a hoagie. Unfortunately I didn't find one, and I barely got my lobster roll too. Kosher garlic deli pickles were right out. Sigh.
But the food they prepared at the workshop made up for it (mostly). I'm sure if I had ignored much of the workshop I probably could have found them, but health food/turkey wraps seem to be all the rage these days. Mores the pity.
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