What a field day for the heat
A thousand people in the street
Singing songs and carrying signs
Mostly saying, "hooray for our side"

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Notes on Bachelor Parties

The object of drinking is not to get drunk as fast as possible. It's to get a nice buzz, and then maintain.

Drinking games during the "dinner" (ie. before going out), not necessary.

Stopping to buy beer at convenience store on way to bar is silly. They have beer at bars. Trust me. I don't think that's changed.

When you have a car or two of people, winging it is an option. When you have a bus (10+), you need to have a plan, and you need to have scouted and let the bars know you're coming.

With 20+ people, you need to keep tight control of them. They need to understand they will be given two notices to get on the bus. After that, if they're not on the bus, there's a good chance they'll need to find their own way home.

When the "tavern" sign says, "Family owned and operated since..." there's a good chance it's not a dance/strip club. Just saying.

The group should be kept as a group. Wonder off, and see note about getting on the fucking bus and finding you're own way home.

When you get on the fucking bus, get on the fucking bus. Getting on doesn't mean hanging around it in the parking lot. The bus can not go to the next bar until everybody is on the bus.

Driving 30 minutes between bars (in an urban setting) is a sign of bad planning. Taking more than 30 minutes to get on the fucking bus is being inconsiderate.

Sheets (the gas station) food is "convenient", it isn't "the best thing evar!" If you think the latter, you might want to sleep it off on the bus instead of disappearing to go to Sheets to get food.

You had an opportunity to pee before we got on the bus.

Dancing/stripping is a job. Don't interfere with someone's work. Tip well for good service. Sit back, relax, and enjoy the show. Stop trying to be a part of it. You don't go into the cockpit and tell the pilot you want to fly. Also, even though she says "You're nice/cute/etc" she probably doesn't really mean it. She's working for tips. If she's convincing, see note about good service.

If someone needs to tell you, "Let the woman work" you misunderstand the previous rule.

Also, "she's just working through school", may actually be true (I know 2 people who did dance their way through school, and 1 other who tried), it is a common story sold to patrons. See note about working for tips.

If you're thrown out of a bar, you can ask for an appeal. However, the bouncers are also just doing their job. Ask to speak to a manager for the reason. If that doesn't work, don't be pissy about it. Get on the fucking bus so we can get to the next place.

You are not the only people trying to enjoy the night out. Sometimes this movie is not about you.

In general, and this is good for everything, follow Wheaton's Law.


Nathan said...

This post screams for photographic evidence.

My WV is TUMSSES: What Gollum constantly cries for to ease his churning stomach.

Steve Buchheit said...

While there were photos taken (mostly on the bus), they weren't taken by me.

Because of the logistics, I drove behind the bus (the bars were 30% of the way home, why not). It was like a lightning storm on the bus with the flashes going off.

Also, the one dance/strip club we got to wasn't (shall we say) exactly all that exciting. Also, the rules and actions within the club had changed drastically from when I wore a younger man's clothes. Not all for the better, IMHO. I'm sure the kids think it's better. More crass, less imagination and lower skill sets needed.

Kids these days.

Dan Berlyoung said...

Two things:

a)You need a link to Wheaton's Law

2)Much as I appreciate the female form, going to a strip club always felt like going to the grocery store without any money. "Look at all this food! You can't touch it!" Fun, but ultimately frustrating.