I watch the ripples change their size
But never leave the stream
Of warm impermanence
And so the days float through my eyes
But still the days seem the same
And these children that you spit on
As they try to change their worlds
Are immune to your consultations
They're quite aware of what they're goin' through

Monday, September 3, 2007

Rewrite #3 in the Hopper. On to Rewrite #4 (okay, well, maybe just edits)

Finished the full story. We're at 2836 words now. I didn't address all the concerns that came up in the critique, but I got the major ones, the ones that were repeated by several people. So an extra four-hundred plus words. I did delete some things, including a whole paragraph just gone. Gone I tell ya. Gone. Out of here. Fini. Gone.

Now I think I need to do some editing and see where we are at. I think we're in a good spot. I explain a little more about the narrator's psychology and his life. I hope with the extra words I made the story more comprehensible. I think some of the horror part isn't as strong, but maybe not. That's the editor's job to determine.

3 comments:

ThatGreenyFlower said...

It's hard to lose a paragraph, especially if you liked it. Oh, brave amputee!

Camille Alexa said...

I forgot how to write this week. My brain's too foggy.

Full steam ahead, Steve.

Steve Buchheit said...

Greeny, I had that paragraph around here a moment ago. Now where did I misplace it? To be fair, in my earlier drafts I was never really happy with it. I think the idea in it was good (narrator goes to a party and feels guilty, then he realizes that the apartment number is his daughter's birthday), but it just felt cluncky and forced.

Camille, we've all been there. As long as the fog is natural, it'll come back Writing is just like falling of a bicycle, you never forget how. When you start back up it does fell like you're turning sludge over at the begining. That feeling also passes.