What a field day for the heat
A thousand people in the street
Singing songs and carrying signs
Mostly saying, "hooray for our side"

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Oh, the jokes you'll tell

Last night, right before class, I added a joke to my notecard file for the next novel. OKay, well, it was really a filling out a joke I already had, adding layers of humor and an Easter Egg for attentive readers (yes, sometimes you do have to roll your own jokes). But what was most amazing is that my typing on the iPad's virtual keyboard was actually faster than my typing on the real keyboard.

I was in the middle of entering the data when I thought, "Damn, I'm flying." Now I still like the physical keyboard, if only for having all the important keys right there (the only time I needed to slow down was get change the virtual keyboard to the numeric display). It just seems strange that I feel I can type faster on a keyboard with no reflex or response, no feedback, only a visual representation. I'm not a touch typist, doing a four fingered dance across the keys. I can type without looking at the keyboard these days, but sometimes I like to look at the keyboard instead of the screen while typing.

I wonder if it could be that with the virtual keyboard I'm doing the same thing at the same time. While typing I'm looking at the keys and the display all without moving my head.

It's strange. Or at least strange to me. I think I also freaked out the person sitting next to me by typing so fast. In my peripheral vision I could see her looking at my typing, and not just a casual glance.

The joke, okay, well, it's in the third act and it involves a name tag on a certain person with just, "Waite" whom one of the characters addresses as "Helen." You have to roll your own. And I just realized I have new readers who may not be familiar with my "next novel", the third act takes place in Hell's Waiting Room, which is as large as a medium-sized city. And yes, I've already set up the hand-basket joke as well. Those chapters are going to be the most fun to write.


Nathan said...

I've talked about the NYPD movie-unit before; a bunch of cops who work movie sets shooting in the street to help with traffic and enforce weapons safety, etc. Since there are only 30 cops in the unit, you see the same guys a lot and get to know them. Traditionally, we've always been on a first name basis with all of them (except some of the Sergeants and the Lieutenant in charge).


So, one day, we get assigned a guy who's brand new to the unit and my assistant and I walk over to introduce ourselves. He responds icily, "I'm Officer Waite". Not Joe, or Ted or Ron...Officer Waite.

Every time I've ever seen the guy since then, the thought that goes through my mind is, "Wait, Waite. Don't tell me."

Steve Buchheit said...

Ha! "Hello, uh, wait a sec, officer, uh, wait, wait, don't tell me."

Nathan said...

That little rimshot would work better at the end of the joke.


Steve Buchheit said...

I was there with you Nathan. I mentally put it at the end.