I watch the ripples change their size
But never leave the stream
Of warm impermanence
And so the days float through my eyes
But still the days seem the same
And these children that you spit on
As they try to change their worlds
Are immune to your consultations
They're quite aware of what they're goin' through

Monday, December 15, 2008

Storm's Wake

This evening I ended up rewriting the ending in a continuous improvement process. I lost count of how many times I've gone through it. There's a lot of new stuff, and most of the old is said in a different way. I needed to change it to be more of a Temptation of Ben Yoder that it was. I think I made that. And Ben still says, basically, get thee behind me.

If I say, "His doctor was surprised, but ended up giving him advice about gift horses," you all know what I'm talking about, right? That one was a way of cutting about twenty words. We're at 4679 words. Down 90 some, and I haven't looked back through the whole story. Yet.

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